Disney is doing live-action remakes of pretty much all their cartoon movies, because Mickey Mouse is a greedy money whore who knows that fools will throw their cash at anything with the Disney logo on it. Disney is working on a live-action The Little Mermaid, and over the weekend, Lindsay Lohan proved once again that’s she’s the corner where delusion and desperate meet when she said on Instagram that she wants be in it. No, LiLo doesn’t think she should play one of the polyps in Ursula’s garden of poor unfortunate souls. LiLo wants to be 16-year-old Ariel. You know, that idea isn’t that crazy. I mean, Ariel is a klepto and most of her body is covered with slimy scales.
On her Instagram page, LiLo put a beyond filtered picture of her next to a picture of cartoon Ariel, and said in the original caption that Bill Condon should direct, Ali Lohan should do a song for the soundtrack and Kat Graham should play Ursula (?????):
I will sing again, as #ariel #thelittlemermaid @disney approve that #billcondon directs it along with my sister @alianamusic singing the theme song for the soundtrack. also @kgrahamsfb plays Ursula. Simply because, she is the best. take one. @disneystudios
Erdoğan’s biggest fan must have known that it’s dumb to share her genius ideas for FREE, because she deleted that caption and replaced it with a simple one:
If LiLo starred in Disney’s The Little Mermess, then Aaron Carter should play Prince Eric, one of her crotch crabs should play Sebastian and Charlie Sheen should play King Triton. That movie would only be 20 minutes long, because Ariel would end up getting jailed after hitting a seahorse in the throat with a thingamabob at a club, and Ursula would never want her voice. The only way Ursula would want Ariel’s voice is if she was planning on entering a Will Arnett sound-alike contest. I’d watch all 20 minutes of The Little Mermess too, several times.