Hot Slut Of The Day!

The AOL dial-up victory symbol from the 90s!

Those of us who dealt with AOL dial-up in the 1990s probably lost at least 10 years of our lives from nervously sitting in front of a computer and waiting for that mess to connect while shouting, “Nobody make a damn phone call!” There was nothing more dramatic, suspenseful and anxiety-ridden than staring at the screen, watching and waiting for your dial-up to fully connect and fill that third box with a symbol of pure victory!

I stayed hairless in the crotch area through most of the 90s. Because any pube I did grow, I pulled out of frustration while not-so-patiently waiting for AOL to connect so that I could get into those chat rooms. Connecting to AOL was always a journey of epic proportions.

Our computer was in a room that didn’t have a phone line. So to connect to AOL, I had to run a long ass phone cord from another room to the computer and sometimes people would trip over it while walking through the hallway and I’d lose connection. Or the phone number I was trying to connect to would be busy and I’d have to find a new one. Sure, the settlers of the olden times had to deal with starvation, dysentery, typhoid and other shit, but their journey was nothing compared to the journey of trying to connect to AOL in the 90s.

But when you did finally connect, it was a beautiful, beautiful thing. The connect screen changed a few times throughout the years, but the sound, which was the soundtrack of the 90s, stayed the same. And nothing filled me with excitement and hope like seeing that third box fill up with a faceless, handless family.

Jesus himself could’ve appeared next to me while logging onto AOL and I still would’ve said, ‘Not right now, Jesus! I’m too busy praying for the faceless family to appear!“