We’ve been shitting up post after post from last night’s Adele Appreciation Ceremony (Featuring Adele Appreciating Beyonce), but another awards show happened yesterday. Two weeks before Hollywood gets dressed up in $15,000 gowns to lick each other’s taints and jack one another off at the Oscars, they got into $15,000 gowns to lick each other’s taints and jack one another off at the BAFTAs last night.
The British royals just couldn’t let the non-royals have their little night to themselves and they had to suck up all the attention by sending Duchess Kate and Prince William. Prince William was at the BAFTAs to give the Fellowship Award to Mel Brooks. The Sun says that the red carpet was shut down for security reasons for Duchess Kate and Prince William to glide on through. When they walked into The Royal Albert Hall, they got a standing ovation. I rolled my eyes to and fro over that standing ovation, but in defense of everyone who stood, they had to! If they didn’t and Prince George found out, he would’ve gotten his great-grandma THE QUEEN to order them all into the dungeon.
Duchess Kate and Prince William were also gracious enough to mingle with the regulars and she was overhead telling Emma Stone, “I just adore La La Land. The soundtrack is my favorite jazz album!” (She didn’t say that, but she probably thought it.)
As for the winners, Emma Stone (La La Land) won Best Lead Actress, Viola Davis (Fences) won Best Supporting Actress, Dev Patel (Lion) won Best Supporting Actor, La La Land won Best Film and Casey Affleck (Manchester By The Sea) won Best Lead Actor. Sadly, last year’s Best Lead Actress winner, Brie Larson, wasn’t there, so we didn’t get to see her once again make another “I just got a giant whiff of turd fumes” face after reading Casey Affleck’s name. The list of everyone who won is here if you haven’t already seen it. Ryan Gosling, who was nominated, didn’t go because, apparently a “family matter” kept him in L.A.
As for the ~fAShuN~, mostly everyone’s outfit was visual Ambien, but at least someone came to play. If Mrs. White from Clue was a gangster’s moll who always wore a coat made from the pubes and hair of her dead ex-husbands, she’d look like Noomi Rapace at last night’s BAFTAs. This is some “flames, flames on the side of my face” glamour.
That look is what you would end up with if you couldn’t decide to go as Velma Kelly from Chicago, a fuck effort Cruella de Vil or Catwoman for Halloween. Why not go as all three?!
And here’s a million more pictures from last night’s BAFTAs including Nicole Kidman who really disappointed me by not covering her body with more sequined fuckery.