After Beyonce covered the Grammys stage with a fertility sun goddess meets Young Pope extravaganza, I fully expected the other performers to suddenly come down with a serious case of the wet shits and refuse to perform. I also expected the other winners to hand their trophy over to Beyonce before worshipping at her deity feet. Adele kind of did that after her album 25 won Album of the Year.
Adele’s trophy vault will get stuffed with 5 more Grammys, because last night she won AOTY, Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Pop Solo Performance and Best Pop Vocal Album. Adele won everything she was nominated for. Beyonce won two Grammys but lost the big ones to Adele. While Adele accepted the AOTY award, she Kanye’d herself by pretty much saying, “Imma let you finish, Adele, but Lemonade…” Adele has made it clear before that she’s a hardcore disciple of the Church of Beysus, and while on stage, she burped up words of praise for Beyonce and said that Lemonade was a life-changing masterpiece and her Album of the Year.
I really thought that Adele was going to say that she would not accept that award and walk down the stairs to hand it over to Beyonce before bowing down. But she didn’t. Adele took the award and sashayed off. Way to trophy tease a trick, Adele!
That picture of Adele holding a broken Grammy made the rounds last night and everyone thought that she channeled her inner Cady Heron (and John Mayer) by breaking it in two to give one half to Beysus. But Vanity Fair busted out the truth by posting a video from backstage of Adele trading in her busted Grammy for a fresh one to pose with. It looks like she just broke it on accident.
I wish that Adele really did go ultra dramatic by breaking her Grammy for Beyonce and I also wish that there was a picture of her handing over one-half of that trophy to Beyonce. Because I really want to see Beyonce’s, “The fuck am I supposed to do with this broken shit?“, face. And talking about her love of Beyonce must affect Adele the same way gamma rays affected Bruce Banner. Because her ass turned into the Hulk and broke that trophy in two. Or the Grammy people are cheap fucks and that trophy is nothing but gold-painted tin.
And Adele kept her Bey worship going backstage. At around the 9:25 mark, a reporter asks her about her speech and she goes on to talk about the exact moment when her ears were first touched by the voice of her God.
The TL;DR of this post is that Adele loves Beyonce more than the Grammy bitches love Adele. Hell, I think that Adele may love Beyonce more than I love putting my mouth on a holy Sno-Ball bar. No, no, that’s impossible.