Is The Beyhive Still Alive?

February 12, 2017 / Posted by:

When Beyonce’s never-ending Grammy’s performance started tonight and I saw her looking like the Virgin Mary if the Virgin Mary was a member of the 1%, I screamed, “FUUUUUUCK,” out loud, because I wished that I would’ve bought stock in a casket company. Because you know, nearly ever member of the Beyhive immediately ran out and bought a coffin so that they could die in it after being blessed by their God’s performance tonight.

While wearing a headdress that was equal parts She-Ra, Aaliyah in the Queen of the Damned and Madonna at the Super Bowl, the¬†reincarnation of Jesus busted out a medley of Love Draught, Sandcastles and THE BIBLE at the Grammys tonight.¬†It was like a live performance version of her EXTRA pregnancy portraits but with a major budget. It was so HIGH ART that I’m sure the MET in NYC is going to burn every piece of art they have, and the only thing they’ll show from now on is Beyonce’s Grammy’s performance.

Meanwhile, some second year performance art student logged on to LegalZoom to find out how to throw a lawsuit at Kleptoyonce for stealing and recreating their first year project at the Grammys tonight.

Pic: @BeyonceCapital

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