The Chenbot, Of All People, Confirms That Amal Clooney Is Pregnant With Twins

February 9, 2017 / Posted by:

And in the bathroom at People magazine’s offices, a bunch of editors and publicists are all sitting on the floor and sharing a giant bowl of uncooked cookie dough while silently weeping over the fact that George and Amal Clooney have completely rejected them and gave the news of their unborn twins to somebody else. I am 2,700 miles away from People’s headquarters, but if I listen closely, I can hear the song All By Myself blaring from their office speakers. Scooped by The Fucking Talk!

Last month, a Lebanese newspaper reported that family sources told them that growing in Amal’s womb are a double set of Clooneys. They got it right and on today’s episode of The Talk, Julie Chen confirmed it. All of us should make sure that our end-of-the-world bunkers are fully stocked with the three essential Ps (porn, Pinot and pork rinds), because 55-year-old George Clooney is going to be a father to twins. 39-year-old Amal is due this June.

Beyonce is having twins. Madonna adopted twins. Pharrell Williams’ wife gave birth to triplets. Multiples are so NOW. There must be something in the water (and that something may be IVF.) Every hospital nursery in the Calabasas area better go on high alert. Because Pimp Mama Kris may try to outdo everyone and will troll nurseries for four newborns who can fit up into one of her hos.

And here’s pictures from late last month of Amal throwing a “Get ready for bump watch, bitches” look at the paparazzi while leaving LAX.

Pics: Splash

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