Night Crumbs
Justin Bieber, his face pubes and his prison tattoos made their grand return to Instagram. It’s actually kind of shocking that the mirror he’s standing in front of didn’t shatter from all of the badassness coming at it – Lainey Gossip
For one short minute, let’s pretend it’s 2009 again and get into these extremely spontaneous pictures of fame whore android Heidi Montag in a bikini – Drunken Stepfather
I see that “Defend Taylor Swift In Every Interview” is still on the list of rules given to every Taylor Swift Squad Member. And on another note, the pictures of Lena Dunham with stage 10 pink eye will never stop haunting my waking moments – Celebitchy
Prepare for more wig-shifting action, because Kim Zolciak and NeNe Leakes may return to Real Housewives of Atlanta – Reality Tea
Selena Gomez really made the most out of a checkered tablecloth – The Nip Slip
And in “Yes, yes, I can still fap to this” news, Anderson Cooper did Cher. Not like that – Towleroad
The finale of This Is Us has been pushed back a week because of Jabba the Trump. I’m sensing another major march coming on… – The Superficial
Someone named Tanya Mityushina is here to model your next Sunday mass church ensemble – Hollywood Tuna
The Modeling Industry Is Still Trying To Make Hailey Baldwin Happen: Take 4,583 – Popoholic
SAVE MARTHA! – SOW
Tori Spelling posted a thirsty pregnant bra pic on Instagram before quickly deleting. Tori probably got confused. She really meant to email it to a Life & Style editor to see if they’d buy it for $20 OBO – Starcasm
The blonde one on The Hills (who wasn’t Lauren Conrad, Heidi Montag, Lo Bosworth, Holly Montag, She-Pratt or Kristin Cavawhatever) is knocked up – Just Jared
Okay, but did Scarlett Johansson call the President of All Asians, Margaret Cho, to ask why people are so mad? – Pajiba
I didn’t do a full post on this, because I’m still in denial. Queen Aretha Franklin announced that she’s retiring from performing live this year. If you need me, I’ll be screaming, “NO NO NO NO!“, over the fact that we may never get moments like this again:
PROGRAMMING NOTE: Allison is out tomorrow, so our guest bloggers, Ben and Krista, are filling in. And now I can go back to screaming, crying and punching the air. I blame Patti LaBelle for this!