Night Crumbs

February 9, 2017 / Posted by:

Justin Bieber, his face pubes and his prison tattoos made their grand return to Instagram. It’s actually kind of shocking that the mirror he’s standing in front of didn’t shatter from all of the badassness coming at it – Lainey Gossip

For one short minute, let’s pretend it’s 2009 again and get into these extremely spontaneous pictures of fame whore android Heidi Montag in a bikini – Drunken Stepfather

I see that “Defend Taylor Swift In Every Interview” is still on the list of rules given to every Taylor Swift Squad Member. And on another note, the pictures of Lena Dunham with stage 10 pink eye will never stop haunting my waking moments – Celebitchy

Prepare for more wig-shifting action, because Kim Zolciak and NeNe Leakes may return to Real Housewives of AtlantaReality Tea 

Selena Gomez really made the most out of a checkered tablecloth – The Nip Slip

And in “Yes, yes, I can still fap to this” news, Anderson Cooper did Cher. Not like that – Towleroad

The finale of This Is Us has been pushed back a week because of Jabba the Trump. I’m sensing another major march coming on… – The Superficial

Someone named Tanya Mityushina is here to model your next Sunday mass church ensemble – Hollywood Tuna

The Modeling Industry Is Still Trying To Make Hailey Baldwin Happen: Take 4,583 – Popoholic

SAVE MARTHA! – SOW

Tori Spelling posted a thirsty pregnant bra pic on Instagram before quickly deleting. Tori probably got confused. She really meant to email it to a Life & Style editor to see if they’d buy it for $20 OBO – Starcasm

The blonde one on The Hills (who wasn’t Lauren Conrad, Heidi Montag, Lo Bosworth, Holly Montag, She-Pratt or Kristin Cavawhatever) is knocked up – Just Jared

Okay, but did Scarlett Johansson call the President of All Asians, Margaret Cho, to ask why people are so mad? – Pajiba

I didn’t do a full post on this, because I’m still in denial. Queen Aretha Franklin announced that she’s retiring from performing live this year. If you need me, I’ll be screaming, “NO NO NO NO!“, over the fact that we may never get moments like this again:

aretharetire

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Allison is out tomorrow, so our guest bloggers, Ben and Krista, are filling in. And now I can go back to screaming, crying and punching the air. I blame Patti LaBelle for this!

Pic: Instagram GIF: Elle.com

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