Did you lose out on the $100k Flamin’ Hot Harambe Cheeto and have been looking for something else to waste your money? Look no further, because Karl Lagerfeld has the perfect thing for you.
WWD (via The Cut) says that Kunty Karl has teamed up with German company Steiff on a luxurious plush toy version of his opulent white pussy, Choupette Lagerfeld. Beginning this May, Steiff will sell 2,0000 limited-edition Choupette Lagerfeld replicas. Each one will cost €499 and will be sold EXCLUSIVELY at Karl Lagerfeld stores at first. Steiff stores will eventually carry them too. Since Choupette is the most gorgeous, famous and richest white pussy in the world, Karl said that he wasn’t at all shocked to learn that Steiff wanted to create a toy version of her.
“Choupette is such a famous and beautiful cat that when this request came to me, I was not even surprised. Steiff is the perfect choice for this kind of collaboration. It’s the only company that has the required expertise to highlight the extreme and absolute refinement of this young princess.”
Steiff says that their toy Choupette is made of fake white fur and comes with a magnetic mouse made of black synthetic leather.
Judging on the only picture of the toy Choupette I’ve seen, I doubt the real Choupette would even shit on that thing. That’s how cheap it looks. It looks like it belongs in the toy aisle at Big Lots with the other $4.99 stuffed animals. Even the toy Choupette looks surprised by the fact that it costs €499.
If I’m going to pay over $500 for a toy Choupette, I better get the full Lagerfeld experience. When I ask toy Choupette if they like my ensemble, it better let me know with its eyes that I look like trash and I should immediately set fire to the Old Navy outfit I’m wearing. When I put an iPad in front of toy Choupette, I expect it to used my stored credit cards to order a Chanel paper bag to go over my ugly face. When I eat red velvet Oreos on the couch, toy Choupette better knock those cookies out of my hand and then point at my gut with its paw.
Poor Choupette. I hope that her maids take her iPad and block every website that has posted about this toy. She doesn’t deserve to see how Kunty Karl and Steiff did her wrong.
Pic: Karl Lagerfeld