Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 7, 2017 / Posted by:

The Flamin’ Hot “Harambe” Cheeto!

Jesus was getting tired of showing up on toast, bananas, pancakes, pierogis, Funyuns and other food stuff, so he got Harambe (the gorilla who was killed after a boy jumped into his house at the Cincinnati Zoo) to take over for a while. Harambe recently showed himself in a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto, and sure, Jesus has done the Cheeto thing before, but you gotta start somewhere.

The Flamin’ Hot Harambe Cheetos was supposedly discovered by eBay user valuestampsinc who just couldn’t bring themselves to eat the fake cheese version of Harambe. So, valuesstampsinc put it on eBay and here’s the description of that mess of a listing.

I opened up a bag of Flamin Hot Cheetos and as soon as I looked inside I came across this unique Cheetos that looks like Harambe the gorilla.

This item is one of a kind!

It measures up to about 1 1/2 inches in length.

This item up for bid is only for this unique Cheetos, bag not included.
This makes a great collectible for anyone who appreciates rare items!

The bidding started at $11.99 on January 28, and after 132 bids, it ended this morning at the low, bargain price of only $99,900.00!!!! Surprisingly, the winning bid wasn’t made by user BritneyLuvzCheetoz.

When this listing first went viral, I smelled a preservatives-filled STUNT and I still do.

As Esquire points out, the picture that’s supposed to be of Harambe hugging a tree isn’t Harambe at all. It’s a picture of a different gorilla. The seller and the winning bidder are probably in cahoots! Is there really a rich bitch out there who has too much money and when they get bored with burning it in their fire pit, they waste it by buying a Cheeto that kind of resembles a random gorilla hugging a tree? And that Cheeto is unwrapped! I mean, most of us were told as children not to accept unwrapped food from strangers, and the winner of that listing is paying almost $100,000 for that shit!

This is probably fake, but just in case it isn’t, I’m going to spend my free time searching grocery stores for food items that sort of, kind of look like a gorilla hugging a tree. Imagine if I found a gorilla’s image on a banana peel? It’d be the new Heart of the Ocean!

Pic: eBay

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