Who Is January’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

February 3, 2017 / Posted by:

It’s only been one week since Ana Navarro won the illustrious title of Hot Slut of 2016 and we’re already looking for who will become her successor next year. That’s if we’re not all in camps by then. Don’t worry, if you’re in the gay and lesbian conversion camp with me, we’ll have a Hot Slut of the Year pageant amongst ourselves (Rojo Caliente is totally going to win that).

Usually the finalist of a Hot Slut of the Month contest is either a person, an animal or an inanimate object. This may be the first time that a finalist is an event. And it’s definitely the first time that someone’s facial expressions are a finalist. History has been made again! Like always, the first three HSOTM contenders got the most Facebook likes and the fourth one is a wild card picked out by me. Your choices for January are:

Mariah Carey’s New Year’s Eve Performance – This glittery train wreck needs no explanation since I’ve written 8,965 posts about it and I’m sure that historic event is already burned deep into your brain.

Pete Parkkonen – The singing Fabio of Finland who can cause a panty pudding geyser with his moves, voice and oiled-up nipples.

The Double Middle Finger-Throwing Hero of the Inauguration – Anita Yavich is her name and giving a two gun “fuck you” salute to Trump is her game. Anita was at the inauguration last month and gave her simple and precise review of Trump’s speech without speaking a word.

Winona Ryder’s Many Faces – Winona Ryder’s face became one of the breakout stars of the SAG Awards when it delivered a glorious range of GIF-able expressions on stage. Someone should really start a GoFundMe to buy a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for Winona Ryder’s Many Faces. Winona Ryder’s Many Faces deserves one more than most of the hos who have one.

Voting is below. The first Hot Slut of the Month of 2017 will be crowned next Friday!


Pics: Getty, YouTube, @marygeorgant, @SAGAwards

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