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Chubbles, the knock-off Ewoks who, in the 80s, hypnotized children into doing their evil work for them!

Were you a child in the 1980s who did bad things and you could never explain why you did them? (Examples of bad things: steal candy, lie to your abuelita’s face, cheat in school, sacrifice your stuffed animals to show your allegiance to a bootleg Ewok, etc.) Then you probably had a Chubbles toy and most likely looked deep into its hypnotizing light eyes.

Ghost of the Doll says that Chubbles were made by Animal Fair and came out sometime in 1984. They stuck around for a minute or two. They were mouth-less teddy bears in lazy Ewok drag who didn’t need to eat food because they lived on your love (and your secrets). You’d tell them your secrets and they couldn’t repeat them since they didn’t have a mouth! Although, they could hypnotize you with their eyes and use your secrets to get you to do bad things. I bet Latarian Milton played with an old Chubbles toy.

Chubbles’ hypnotizing eyes and nose were brought to life with light. If you flashed light at them, their eyes and nose lit up like a cokehead’s eyes when a police officer flashes a flashlight at them. via GotD

“Responds to you! Light activated. No touch needed. Chubbles come to you directly from Chase-A-Tail Dale, near Firefly Forest. They are caring little creatures whose mission is to bring love and good cheer to beings of all ages. Chubbles live on love and need no special care. You don’t even have to feed them. Changes in the light around them make the Chubbles respond. The firefly in their nose lights up and they chiggle. This is an amusing sound that is something like a giggle. So, tell your troubles to a Chubble. They have no mouths so they can never, never tell. If you keep your Chubble near, you’ll always have love and lots of Chubble cheer.”

If you needed more proof of the evil that a Chubbles spread, here’s the “chiggle” sound they made.

That sounds like a smoke alarm with a dying battery (aka the sound that will push you straight off the edge). And okay, okay, not everything about the Olsens’ woodland creature sidekicks were dark-sided. They were friends with this “caterpillar“:

And there’s only goodness in a plushie butt plug.

Pics: Ghost of the Doll, eBay