Archives: February 2017

Night Crumbs

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Moonlight’s Trevante Rhodes stripped down to his chonies for an ad for Calvin Klein Underwear and you probably don’t know whether to fap, or do crunches, or both at the same time – Towleroad

Casey Affleck thinks Ben Affleck has been under-appreciated…. There’s not enough bitch, pleases in the world  – Lainey Gossip 

The newest Kong: Skull Island trailer is out and I’m just here for John Goodman and the battle between Khlozilla and Courtney StoddenThe Superficial

Alleged sexual predator Casey Affleck dragged alleged sexual predator Donald TrumpCelebitchy

Kim Zolciak’s daughter turned 20 and I’m guessing that Kim gave her the gift of either lipo or a facelift. What am I saying? She probably got both of those on her 12th birthday! – Reality Tea 

Nothing like a casual coochie slip on the Oscars red carpet – Drunken Stepfather

If Emily RideAJetSki is trying to do an impersonation of a hollow mannequin, she nailed it! – Hollywood Tuna

The good thing about Kate Beckinsale’s dress, is that she can easily dust a table with her chichis if it needs it – Popoholic

Josh Hartnett is going to be a dad again – Popsugar

Gossip Girl (aka Dan Humphrey) got married – Just Jared

Wonder Woman is on the cover of EmpireIDLYITW

Bob Harper had a major heart attack while working out. See! Exercise is dangerous and can kill! – NewNowNext

Who hasn’t gotten arrested after sleep-driving into a pole and then running from the cops while not wearing pants and in a booze and Ambien-induced haze? – Starcasm

Pic: Calvin Klein

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And Now For The Dudes Of The Oscars

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We’re finally ending our never-ending Oscar coverage today and the best way to end it is with some man pieces who were probably suffocating in their nut-hugging pants and wanted to take it all off halfway through the show. They should’ve. It would’ve made that mess a hundred million times better and awakened all my senses.

My best dressed chick of the Oscars is definitely Charlize Theron, because with that ponytail, casual diamond earrings and daytime gold la-may gown, she was done up like Alexis Carrington making a quick trip to the supermarket. It was very daytime casual Dynasty. And my best dressed dude is definitely Ryan Gosling, who looks like he reeks of Jovan Musk oil and is about to pick you up in his dad’s gold two-tone Lincoln Continental Mark V to take you to the senior prom where he’s going to feel you up while slow dancing to The Closer I Get To You. And he’s definitely the one who spiked the punch.

Ryan wore Gucci (duh) and I couldn’t tell if those were actual ruffles or trompe l’oeil ruffles (Side note: I don’t do drag, but if I ever did, I’ve got dibs on the name Tramp Louie Ruffles.) And then there’s the smooth rat Pharrell, who dressed like a maître d at an underground restaurant that only serves virgin blood and is owned by Kunty Karl. There’s a reason why Pharrell looks like that. He’s wearing Chanel.

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And here’s a million more pictures of the dudes from the Oscars. Come for Mahershala Ali and come again for hot piece of wood Jamie Dornan.

 

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

Open Post: Hosted By Some Real Stars!

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Screw the Oscars! Fuck Vanity Fair’s party! And pfft to Elton John’s soiree! The event that Allison and I should’ve written 4500 posts about is the event where every bright shining star of the A-list universe was: The Annual Night of 100 Stars! When Gary From Chicago and the other tourists walked into the Dolby Theater last night, they looked a little disappointed to me and now I know why. They wished they were at The Night of 100 Stars with real celebrities instead of at the Who Cares Awards with a bunch of has-beens and never-wases.

This year’s Annual Night of 100 Stars was held in the party room at Shakey’s on Reseda in Northridge, and the desserts were provided by Carvel and the event’s official booze sponsor was MD 20/20 fine wines. No, it wasn’t that elegant. It was held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, and leading the 100 Stars was noted Anna Nicole cosplayer Courtney Stodden who brought her three puppies. I don’t know if Courtney’s pooch Cupcake is overwhelmed by all the star power or is thinking about putting herself out of her misery by jumping. It’s definitely the first one.

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Thankfully A Bit More Effort Was Put Into The Fashions After The Oscars

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that. 

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Denzel Washington’s Face Says It All

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

And so does the face on the guy behind Denzel Washington.

When Casey Affleck won the Best Actor Oscar last night, a huge chunk of the audience stood up for him. Mel Gibson was probably thinking to himself, “Oh, sure, I get blacklisted from Hollywood for years for hating Jews, terrorizing women and being an overall demon piece of shit and yet you stand up for Casey Affleck’s creeper ass?” Actually, Mel Gibson would never think that. Mad Mel’s not that self-aware.

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Dakota Johnson Went For The “Amish Bride On Her Wedding Night” Look

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

During last night’s Oscars, Dakota Johnson presented with her Fifty Shades Duller co-star Jamie Dornan, and they did a hilarious bit where they pretended to have chemistry with each other. Clearly Dakota was afraid all the crotch-searing sexuality between her and Jamie would be too much for the audience to handle, and she dressed accordingly. And by accordingly, I mean she counter-balanced it by dressing in an unsexy satin nightgown situation that was made by Gucci.

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