It’s been much too long since we’ve gotten a random feud that is like Valium for the soul, and thankfully Kunty Karl ended the drought by going after Meryl Streep about a couture dress. I’m not sure who I should direct my, “You in danger, girl,” comment at.
About a month before the election happened, The Washington Post mysteriously got their hands on a copy of a video of Donald Trump bragging about pussy grabbin’ with Billy Bush on a bus during the filming of an Access Hollywood segment. At the time, it seemed like someone wanted to make Trump look even sleazier than he already does. But Page Six says that the intention was to also make Billy Bush look bad.
Robert De Niro’s IMDB page is a real ride. The 70s start off high with Mean Streets, Taxi Driver and The Godfather II. It dips a little in the 80s after Raging Bull, but it gets high again in the 90s with Goodfellas, Cape Fear and Casino. Then it dips into a puddle of vomit in the 2000s with Little Fockers, Analyze That and Dirty Grandpa. Robert De Niro might be self-aware when it comes to the caliber of his recent films, and he allegedly reminded his wife Grace Hightower of it. And according to Bobby D, it’s all her fault!
After Donald Trump pretty much said, “Have fun pissing in the bushes, kids!”, to trans students when he revoked federal guidelines that allowed kids to choose the bathroom at school that matches their gender identity, many famous types spoke out including Jackie Evancho and Laverne Cox. Caitlyn Jenner stayed quiet, at first, and I didn’t think she’d say anything…until E! paid her the right amount to give her thoughts in a special. But yesterday, Caitlyn released a video response to Trump and I think my eyeballs are skinnier from the cardio (read: rolling) they did while I listened to her.
Seen above is the Great Value Brad Pitt of early-00s television, Chad Michael Murray, as rich shithead Tristan Dugray in Gilmore Girls. Tristan was a main-ish character in the early seasons, so everyone figured that he would be brought back for Netflix’s revival, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. So of course Tristan came back, but Chad Michael Murray didn’t.
Rattle Me Bones!
Rattle Me Bones is a game that is still around today, but it first came from the era where all great things came from: the 80s! It was pretty much like Operation. You and your friends took turns spinning a tiny wheel and the item that the arrow landed on is what you had to take off of Marc Anthony’s pirate uncle. You had to slowly take off the item, and if you weren’t careful, the pirate would start shaking like a methhead after not getting their fix, or like me when I go a month without writing about Phoebe Price. Whoever snatched off the most items from the Rattle Me Bones skeleton without him freaking out won the game. But honestly, I don’t think anybody won the game, because everybody limped away with frazzled nerves. That’s a lot of goddamn pressure to put on a child whose nerves are brand new! If you didn’t pull off a plastic necklace just right, that skeleton would look like he was having a seizure, a stroke, an overdose and getting electrocuted all at once. It was traumatizing.
Speaking of traumatizing, here’s the Rattle Me Bones’ theme song and commercial, which always scared the piss out of me:
Now that the Rattle Me Bones song has rattled my ears and brain, it’s never ever going to leave my head. I wish I could reach into my head and very carefully pull the song off of my brain. But I can’t, so I’ll just have to live with the curse forever…or until I break it by listening to the Nestle Alpine White song a few times.
Pic: InThe80s (For Jonelle)