Archives: February 2017

Open Post: Hosted By The Dog Who Shops For His Own Treats

February 25, 2017 / Posted by:

You might be looking for something to soothe your hangover and/or calm your frazzled nerves from all of the creeping terror at hand. We’ve got you! Well, this doggie’s got you. This beautiful pooch is a big believer in DIY. All he needs is for his human to drive his ass to the store. He’ll handle the selection of goods, thank you.

Check out this doggie picking out his own treats and putting them in his own basket. The human’s still going to have to pay, though. Doggie probably has his own wallet, but there’s the annoying absence of hands.

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Katherine Heigl Just Can’t Catch A Break

February 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Katherine Heigl just can’t seem to retrieve her career from the kitty litter box. It seems like it was only yesterday on Grey’s Anatomy that she was killing Jeffrey Dean Morgan so he could get his heart transplant, but he died anyway and everyone loved her. But then she pissed on her own hit movie, pissed on her own hit TV show, and generally acted like a cooze. Now Katherine can barely get a sad tv legal drama past the premiere.

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John Legend Was Complimentary About His Twitter Hacker

February 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Husband of my favorite meme and Arthur the Aardvark stand-in John Legend had his Twitter hacked by a boisterous wit, who is right now probably being waterboarded by the IRS for using John’s twitter to threaten POTUS. The hacker also expressed a fantasy about Hillary Clinton, and noted the high quality of his drugs. Even John found most of this amusing, as relayed by Oh No They Didn’t and People.

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Hillary Clinton Turned Down “Dancing With The Stars”

February 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Don’t expect to see an extremely familiar elder stateswoman in a glittery pantsuit busting out a lively fandango on season 456 of Dancing With The Ugh, This Show Is Still On?

Hillary Clinton has turned down an invitation to compete on the z-list celebrity tv dancing show. You have to wonder, did she laugh in that scary manner of hers when she got the call? Or was she totally insulted to be asked? Granted, she lost bigly, but only political lessers do DWTS!

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Meryl Streep’s Camp Says That Chanel’s Karl Lagerfeld Is Being Untruthful, Chanel Agrees

February 25, 2017 / Posted by:

This week, withering bitchqueen of evil fashion designer, Karl Lagerfeld, claimed that Meryl Streep effed him and Chanel over by nixing an Oscar dress that he was tailoring for her. Karl’s story was that Meryl and her people informed him that they were going with a different fashion house.

The pony-tailed dude who looks like he’s about to leave James Bond in a stylish deathtrap said that there’s a reason why Meryl’s last name rhymes with “cheap!” He claimed Meryl’s reason for bailing on the dress was because other guys, er, gays were willing to pay Meryl to wear their shit.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Alba Nydia Díaz, actress of stage and screen, producer, television host and legend who interviewed herself on the Puerto Rican morning show Juntos en la Mañana!

Kanye West, please pull up a chair in the front row and bring up the Notes app on your phone, because you need to take note and learn how to perfectly mix narcissism and ART! WAPA TV’s Juntos en la Mañana recently celebrated its first anniversary of being on air, and one of the show’s hosts, Alba Nydia Díaz, graciously gave the viewers the priceless gift of her interviewing herself in her own home. How very Celine Dion of her! It was like a bizarro world Stuart Smalley bit. Mariah Carey is slapping herself for not coming up with this.

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