The buffet of emotions that Winona Ryder’s face delivered at last night’s SAG Awards!
The cast of Stranger Things won Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series last night and David Harbour (who plays Police Chief Hopper) spoke for the cast. Like many of the winners last night, David Harbour used his time at the mic to speak out against the disgusting shit show going down in this country. David told the people to rise up, punch tricks and fight the monster. And as David shot out a river of passion, Winona Ryder’s face went on a journey, and methinks that journey was piloted by the good shit. Because Winona made the same faces I made while watching the season finale of Stranger Things after smoking a strain I’ve never smoked before. Winona listened, learned and loved it!
David told People that he ran a draft of his speech by the cast the night before and they were all into it. But David’s speech looked new to Winona Ryder. Winona went from “huh” to “oh, he’s really going there” to “oh shit, he really is” to “okay, I’m into it” to “yes” to “YES!” to “YAAASSSSSS!” Winona’s face took us through the many steps to ultimate wokeness.
Winona’s roller coaster of facial expressions can also be called “The Many Stages Of Bottoming The First Time.” Because when you successfully bottom for the first time, your face goes from “errr” to “I don’t know…” to “okay, there’s the tip” to “errr, Jesus be a lube bottle” to “I think I’m going to shit on that dick” to “YES! IT’S IN!”
If you haven’t already, let Winona Ryder’s meme machine of a face take you for a ride:
— SAG Awards® (@SAGawards) January 30, 2017
In that sea of Botoxed mugs, it is weird to see a face move that much. And that is Winona Ryder’s greatest performance since “Did you suck his cock?”
From now on, I’m going to need Winona Ryder to stand next to anyone who’s making a speech and express her feelings about the words being said. Winona Ryder’s face is the only speech barometer we can trust!