The Women’s March brought out millions of people and it was inspiring. But I’m sorry, it paled in comparison to the gigantic act of pure feminism that happened when Brandi Glanville declared on live TV that Joanna Krupa’s down-low bits makes cats sing The Meow Mix Song because it smells like 6am at Pike Place Fish Market.
During a reunion show for the now-dead Real Housewives of Miami (Never 4get La Bruja) in November 2013, one of the cast members claimed that Brandi Glanville (who was on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at the time) told her that Joanna Krupa fucked Mohamed Hadid while he was married to Yolanda Foster (who was also on RHoBH at the time). Joanna denied it and spit on Brandi by saying, “No wonder her husband left her.” After that reunion episode aired, Brandi (seen above at a Fox event powering through even though she’s melting) was on Watch What Happens Live and decided to talk about Joanna’s alleged home wrecking vagine, specifically what it smelled like. Brandi’s mouth shat this up:
“Well, Mohamed did tell me that her pussy smelled. Just saying. It’s true. I’m not lying. And Lisa Vanderpump was there when he said it. Sorry, bitch. I win!”
Mohamed said he’d never talk about a woman’s privates like that, but Brandi didn’t back down and brought it up again on WWHL. Brandi basically compared Joanna’s punane to “bad sushi.” Joanna ended up suing Brandi for defamation in 2015. That case is still going, and now Joanna Krupa has to get her gynecologist involved.
TMZ says that a judge has ordered Joanna to hand over her gynecological records from 2000 to 2005. I guess the judge wants to see if Joanna’s doctor ever drew a picture of a fish with stank fumes wafting off of it after examining her.
Joanna’s lawyers are also asking a judge to make Brandi hand over her bank statements and tax returns. Joanna’s lawyers want to know how much money Brandi has. That will help them figure out how much to ask for in damages.
Because of the way the world is now, I expect this mess of a lawsuit to go all the way to the Supreme Court! When it does, Ruth Bader Ginsburg will be able to say that the proudest moment of her career was when she had to sniff a reality trick’s snatch to determine if it does or doesn’t smell like a Long John Silver’s refrigerator four hours after the power went out. And yes, Justice Ginsburg will use the word “snatch” and everything.
Here’s Joanna at some event for Polish TV in Warsaw on Tuesday.