Megyn Kelly Is Getting Her Own Hour On The “Today” Show

Earlier today, Page Six said that the former sweetheart of Fox News, Megyn Kelly, is crashing into Today, and either the show’s third or fourth hour will be canceled to make room for her. The third hour is hosted by Tamron Hall and Al Roker, and the fourth hour is hosted by America’s morning-drinking aunties Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb. That rumor was just another turd on the pile of shit news that hit me today.

First, I learned that the emporium of stunning teen fashions Wet Seal has been put down and has closed all of its stores. Second, I learned that The CW has ordered a pilot of the shit reboot of Dynasty. And then I learned that my daily dose of vitamin M (for MESS) may be taken away from me. WHYYYYY!!??!

The good news for me is that Hoda and Messie Lee are probably staying on Today. People says that if Megyn takes over Today’s fourth hour, Hoda and Kathie Lee will move to the third hour. Al Roker will continue to do his weatherman duties from 7am to 9am. As for Tamron Hall, Deadline says that her contract is expiring soon and NBC doesn’t want anything to change with her. They want her to stay on Today from 7am to 9am and also host her show on MSNBC. But she hasn’t decided if she’s going to stick with the peacock.

Megyn’s full hour on Today will debut sometime in the fall.

Hoda and Kathie Lee better stay in the 10am spot. Kathie Lee already misses enough shows and if she has to get up a full hour earlier to host at 9am, she’ll never be on. Her boss will get really used to her calling in sick by leaving ill-sounding voicemails where she fake coughs after every word. And then that one Bush daughter will have to fill in more and more.

To paraphrase the drunk cheesy philosopher Kathie Lee Gifford, “Everyone has a story and mine involves Megyn Kelly fucking up my weekday mornings!”

Pic: Splash