Over the weekend, J. Harvey posted a video of an ugly scene outside of Paula Patton’s home in Calabasas, CA. No, Robin Thicke was not trying to win his estranged wife back by holding a boombox that played a song from his failed album Paula. It was uglier than that. The police were called to Paula’s house because she refused to let Robin take their 6-year-old son Julian for a visit. The cops spoke to Julian, who allegedly said that he was scared to leave with his dad. Robin ended up leaving without his son. Cut to today when Robin and Paula were both in a court room in Los Angeles to tussle for temporary sole custody of their child.
The hearing ended with Robin not getting what he wanted. We also learned that the Department of Children and Family Services has opened an investigation against Paula for emotional abuse. And Paula also accused Robin of Ike Turner-ing her during their marriage. Oh, how I long for the more innocent days when celebrity divorce scandals were about nothing more than tales of wandering dick.
TMZ says that the judge shit on Robin’s request for temporary full custody and granted Paula a domestic violence restraining order against him. Robin can’t go anywhere near Paula or Julian. Paula filed for the restraining order after Robin allegedly violently banged on her front door after she wouldn’t open it. Paula also filed a declaration explaining why she needs that restraining order. She has accused Robin of beating her and verbally abusing her and their son. Paula says during the Cannes Film Festival in May 2013, Robin punched her in the upper body area and then pushed her to the ground.
She also says that Robin is a cokehead and screwed around on her. She claims that he called her once while he was on tour in 2013 and she could hear him boning a side ho. The cheating and drug allegations aren’t new. Robin went to rehab last year for an addiction to booze and pills.
“A source close to Robin” is shaking their head no to all of Paula’s allegations. Robin denies physically abusing Paula and his son. But he does admit to spanking his son lightly every now and again.
Robin’s lawyer also submitted a declaration claiming that DCFS is closing their investigation against Robin. The DCFS supposedly ruled that the child abuse allegations against Robin are “unfounded.” The declaration from Robin’s side also claims that DCFS is investigating Paula for emotional abuse. Paula is allegedly trying to turn Julian against Robin and that’s considered “emotional abuse,” apparently.
So DCFS closed their investigation, but yet the judge still took custody away from him. Okay.
The TL;DR version of all of that is: Shit is getting a billion times uglier than Robin’s VMAs outfit.
Out of all the things that the judge has to read in this case, the one thing that probably made them shrug and go, “durr,” is the accusation that Robin Thicke is a cokehead. I mean, almost every time I see a picture of him, my teeth start grinding and my breath gets so rank that it breaks my screen. Fuck me, I just scrolled up and looked at that picture of Robin again. There goes another screen.