Open Post: Hosted By What Processed Sugar Dreams Are Made Of!

January 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Over four years ago, America did the slow wall slide of despair when Hostess declared bankruptcy. They laid off thousands of employees, liquidated all of their assets and sold their beloved gourmet recipes to the highest bidder. It was that moment that I wondered if there really is a God, because I don’t know of a God who would allow us to live in a Sno Ball-less world. But there must be a God, because in 2013, Hostess Brands was bought by the company who owns Pabst and we were saved from entering The Great Twinkies Depression. And now during these dark times, Hostess is providing just a tiny bit of preservatives-filled light in the form of Sno Balls and Twinkies ice cream!

In December, Nestle announced that they were teaming up with Hostess to squirt out limited-edition ice cream in four flavors: Sno Balls, Twinkies, CupCakes and Ding Dongs. Nestle said that Hostess ice cream would be sold in Dollar General stores starting in February and other stores would get it before May. Well, that mess came early, because a reader of the site The Impulsive Buy found Sno Balls and Twinkies ice cream at Riesbeck’s. Riesbeck’s is a small grocery store chain in Ohio and West Virginia.

This is good news, because now I don’t have to strain my hands while shoving vanilla ice cream and Sno Balls into my mouth at the same time. I don’t even like Twinkies that much and I’d even take Twinkies ice cream. It’d be the first time I had the frozen cream of a Twinkie since I hooked up with one in a Minnesota parking lot in the middle of January. (That didn’t happen. I think.)

And if I ever find Sno Balls ice cream, I better buy two. Because after I eat the first pint in one sitting, I’m going to be so disgusted with myself that I’ll have to soothe my sorrows by eating another one.

Pic: The Impulsive Buy 

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