Madonna Says She’s Not Adopting Two More Kids From Malawi

January 25, 2017 / Posted by:

If Madge is telling the truth, then another child won’t have to deal with cringing inside out when their mom drops the n-word on Instagram, and they won’t have to dress up in a Balboa Bay Window-like matching outfit to pose with her at an awards show. Everyone reported that Madge was in a court room in Malawi today to file an application to adopt two more children, but she denies it. I don’t know if I believe her. She may be putting together her own child army, because she’ll need a bunch of kids to be lookouts outside the White House.

The Associated Press reported this morning that Madge is trying to go for Mia Farrow’s record by adding new members to her family. A government rep named Mlenga Mvula said that Madge presented her application for adoption in front of a High Court judge and had to wait a week for the court’s decision. Madge’s 11-year-old son David Banda and 11-year-old daughter Mercy James were both adopted from the country. But Madge kicked down that rumor in a statement to UsWeekly. 58-year-old Madge says that she’s not in Malawi to get herself more kids, she’s there for charity stuff.

“I am in Malawi to check on the children’s hospital in Blantyre and my other work with Raising Malawi, and then heading home. The rumors of an adoption process are untrue.”

Since 2006, Madge has tried to help the children of Malawi by starting her foundation Raising Malawi, which is planning to build the Mercy James Institute for Pediatric Surgery and Intensive Care this year. But plans for a giant, fancy school crumbled into a pile of rubble years ago after two members of the charity’s caretaker board reportedly wasted funds. (Raising Malawi built a bunch of smaller schools instead.) Others in Malawi have also knocked the halo off of Madge’s head. In 2013, Madge was shit on by the President of Malawi who accused of her blackmail and trying to get special treatment because she’s a STAH. And David Banda’s biological father accused her of stealing David.

The thing is, Madge doesn’t need to bother herself by filing applications in court if she wants another child. All she has to do is appear in a cloud of black smoke in the child’s bedroom, snatch ’em out of bed and scatter money along the land as she flees back to NYC. That is why most parents in Malawi cover their children with a blanket made of hydrangeas when they go to sleep.



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