Shortly after Charlie Sheen took a blowtorch to the bridge connecting him with Two and a Half Men back in 2011, he immediately shit-talked his replacement, Ashton Kutcher.Well, Charlie has finally recognized what a goblin he was to Ashton.
Most of Charlie’s hate came in the form of nonsense Twitter poems, if you can even technically call testosterone cream-triggered rantings “poems.” He went on and on and he never let it go. Three years after Ashton took Charlie’s job, he still kept going. Ashton eventually had to tell Charlie to find a new hobby. Charlie eventually stopped dragging Ashton and probably because he found a new target.
“I was stupidly mean to him because I overlooked the reality and difficulty of taking over a show. Which I did, I took over Spin City when Michael J. Fox was too sick to work, but no one ever put those two together…So I should have been nicer. He was tasked with such an uphill struggle, and I was more into my own ego than I was aware of his own battle and for that I am regretful.
I saw him at a Dodgers’ game back in November and I forced him into a handshake. I said, ‘Give me that cup of coffee, young man, and shake my hand.’ It was awkward, but I made it fine because I felt bad for him. He thought he was going to catch a right cross, but I just wanted to give him a hug.”
I hate to break it to Charlie, but I don’t think Ashton was afraid of catching a beating. Ashton was probably nervous about Charlie asking him for his coffee. Baseball stadium coffee is expensive! Ashton probably paid $11 for that coffee, and then Charlie Sheen comes up and asks for it? And even if Charlie doesn’t put his sewer mouth on the cup, there’s still a chance the chemicals on Charlie’s grimy hands will rot through the paper holder and it will leak everywhere. Then Ashton would have to go back and wait in that long-ass line again and spend another $11? All for baseball coffee? Not worth it.