But Who Gets Custody Of The Fancy Gourmet Popcorn Shop?!

January 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Seen above in happier times (yes, that’s them being happy), Princess Charlene cosplayer Scarlett Johansson and her wedded piece of 2 years Romain Dauriac are done with being married to each other. I will light my Bea Arthur saint candle and say a prayer for the gag reflexes of ScarJo’s PR team, because they’re going to need to stay strong as they open up all the jizz-sealed letters from nerd boys who now think they have a chance with Black Widow.

A source tells People that ScarJo and RomDa have been done since the summer. A source tells UsWeekly the same thing. All of these “sources” may be spilling the news now, because ScarJo wasn’t wearing her wedding ring at the Women’s March in DC on Saturday.

This news has reminded me of something I totally forgot. ScarJo was married to Ryan Reynolds from 2008 to 2011. (Ryan Reynolds really does have a thing for mumble-mouthed, big-tittied blondes.) ScarJo made French journalist Romain her second husband in 2014, shortly after she gave birth to their perfect-named baby ROSE DOROTHY.

Just this past December, ScarJo and Romain opened up their HIGHLY-ANTICIPATED gourmet popcorn shop, YummyPop, in Paris. So if they broke up this summer, then they were officially done with doing each other full-time when they worked together on Yummy Pop. That seems way too mature for a Hollywood split. Neither of them have filed for divorce, but if they do, I want to see the look on their lawyers’ faces when they say they don’t need a Hollywood divorce war kit (the numbers to Harvey Levin’s personal line, a hooker who will tell Life & Style that they fucked their spouse, a body language expert who will train them on how to look extra sad in front of the paps, etc…).

Lately it seems like every Hollywood divorce turns into a messy disaster. I hope that doesn’t happen with ScarJo and Roman. If their divorce turns into a war, they may end up grabbing onto opposite ends of Yummy Pop and pulling until that popcorn shop explodes into a million kernels of sadness. Yummy Pop may not make it out of that divorce battle alive. So please, ScarJo and RomDa, keep it civil for the sake of every gourmet popcorn lover in Paris!

Pic: Wenn.com

 

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