Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Dippin’ Dots!

The flash-freeze dried ice cream balls known as Dippin’ Dots were invented by Curt Jones in 1987, and I don’t think I have thought about them for decades. But they’re currently getting some much-deserved time in the comeback spotlight thanks to White House Press Secretary and noted “Daft Funk” hater Sean Spicer. When Sean Spicer was named as the new White House PS in December, people went through his Twatter feed and discovered that the evil thing that has kept him up at night for years is the existence of Dippin’ Dots. Sean Spicer loves periods, but hates dots!

Sean’s rivalry with the flavored freeze dried jizz balls of a cow goes back years. The first real evidence of Sean Spicer’s Dippin’ Dots hate is a tweet from 2010 where he declared that the company’s slogan, “Ice Cream of the Future,” is nothing but an alternative fact.

Dippin’ Dots stayed stuck in Sean’s brain, and over a year later, he reminded his followers of his hate for the dessert snack that looks like the poo of a Lisa Frank bunny.

Dippin’ Dots filed for Chapter 11 in 2011. That news probably made Sean buy some Dippin’ Dots and put them in the microwave so that he could use their melted corpses as lube to fap with while celebrating the news.

In 2012, Dippin’ Dots was bought by Scott Fischer and his father Mark Fischer, the co-founders of Chaparral Energy. Sean stayed quiet about DDs on Twitter for a few years, but in 2015, he reopened the door to his obsession with them.

Up until yesterday, that seemed to be the last time Sean Spicer tweeted about Dippin’ Dots and surprisingly, he didn’t open up that train wreck of a press conference by declaring that he will use all of his power to destroy DDs for once and for all. After Sean’s tweets went viral again, Scott Fischer released an open letter to their biggest fan.

We understand that ice cream is a serious matter. And running out of your favorite flavor can feel like a national emergency! We’ve seen your tweets and would like to be friends rather than foes. After all, we believe in connecting the dots.

As you may or may not know, Dippin’ Dots are made in Kentucky by hundreds of hard working Americans in the heartland of our great country. As a company, we’re doing great. We’ve enjoyed double-digit growth in sales for the past three years. That means we’re creating jobs and opportunities. We hear that’s on your agenda too.

We can even afford to treat the White House and press corps to an ice cream social. What do you say? We’ll make sure there’s plenty of all your favorite flavors.

Sean responded to the open letter yesterday by accepting their invitation for a Dippin’ Dots party.

Don’t do it, Dippin’ Dots! It’s a trap! Sean Spicer is setting you up and is planning to finally get revenge for his pet puppy choking on Dippin’ Dots and dying many years ago. (That’s why Sean hates them so much, right?) But if Dippin’ Dots is the thing that brings this country together, that wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that has happened in the past 12 months.

Pic: Dippin’ Dots, LLC

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