Kate Hudson’s Brother Joked About Her Dating Brad Pitt

January 21, 2017 / Posted by:

Actor Oliver Hudson took to Instagram to mock tabloid reports that his sister Kate Hudson is housing her water pipe with the one belonging to the newly single Brad Pitt.

In a lengthy post featuring a Star cover breathlessly declaring that Brad has moved in with Kate, he imagined a world where the Hudson/Hawn clan has been turned upside down by the presence of Bong Hit Brad the Chaos-Bringer.

I could have lived without the “dump” detail, Ollie. We’re demure sort of ladies here at Dlisted.

Yeah and it’s been hell!! He’s messy as shit! He drinks out of the fucking carton and leaves the door open when he’s taking a dump!! And this is when he’s at MY house!!!

Oliver goes on to note how Brad has gotten his mom Goldie Hawn all sorts of horny. I’m of the mind that being overly concerned with what’s moistening your mom (even in jest) is a sign of some personal issues. But what do I know? I’m not a rich celebrity. And Goldie Hawn is so sexy and sassy (at 71 no less!), that even her flesh-and-blood is making note of her imaginary nightie action (in jest). *cringe*

My mom’s overtly flirting with him! Shes wearing these little nighties around the house now?! But ALL DAY!! Like at 3pm!

Oliver’s imaginary farewell to imaginary Brad reads very similarly to how Angelina Jolie must have bid Brad adieu in real life.

So BP.. it’s time to move out man.. I need my life back dog.. I’ll smoke one more bowl and then get the fuck out.

Her brother might mock, but Kate Hudson’s vagina is a Dust Buster that sucks up all of the celebrity dick dust bunnies in its immediate vacinity.

It wouldn’t be that shocking if she’d “smoked a bowl” with the BradĀ at one time or another, what would be shocking is if she made it more than a long weekend with him. This gal can supposedly land Nick Jonas/J.J. Watt-level men. In translation, that means she can catch guys that are hot enough for gay guys to jerk off over (I ADMIT NOTHING). Why the hell would she be moving in with grizzled, old, allegedly Maddox-slapping Brad?

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