If you have ever found yourself tangled up in a sleeping bag after your tent fall on your head during a windstorm while camping, then I have news for you. You are a fashion-forward trendsetter! And you get extra fashion-forward points if you happened to be wearing half-assed geisha makeup at the time.
It’s currently Paris Men’s Fashion Week and yesterday, Rick Owens showed his 2017 fall/winter collection. Currently I’m wearing faded sweat shorts, Santa Claus socks, and an oversized navy t-shirt with bleach stains on it (all from the Haus of Given Up On Life), so it’s obvious that I care about trends and fashion. Because of this, I was so happy to see Rick Owens’ collection today. It’s going to be so easy to stay on trend this fall and winter. All I have to do is going into my mom’s garage and sort through the water-damaged cardboard box filled with tarps, sleeping bags from the 80s, fishing overalls and ACE bandages.
Rick Owens has let us dudes know that fall/winter 2017 is all about looking like you’re the girl from The Grudge and you just got jumped by a Cabela’s. I can’t wait for fall to come. We’re all going to look like a long-haired homeless dude who strapped all of his belonging to himself because the cops are on their way to arrest him and he needs to run.
Kanye West is a fan of Ricky Owens’ work, so prepare yourselves, future Yeezy models. Kanye will try to outdo Rick Owens. Kanye is going to have his models strutting down the runway with a deconstructed parka, four sleeping bags, a tent, a tin cooking set, a propane tank, a barbecue, beef jerky and cans of baked beans strapped to them. I already feel sorry for those models, because when Khloe Kardashian smells the beef jerky on their body, they won’t be able to run as she gallops toward them.