Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Cosmic Cow from Too Close For Comfort!

Nearly every person, place and thing involved in Too Close For Comfort deserves HSOTD status, even the extremely artistic colored wall stripe at the 0:36 mark in the intro after the cut. (As a mini gay, I wanted to paint that stripe on my bedroom wall, but my mom thankfully stopped me and probably because she knew it would end up looking like a Lisa Frank racing stripe that was drawn by an impatient dolphin on meth during an earthquake.) I’m sure that wall stripe will get its time in the HSOTD shine one day, but today, I’m honoring the other breakout star of the show: Cosmic Cow!

Cosmic Cow was the sidekick, confidante, best friend, assistant and right hand cow of Ted Lange (played by the late Ted Knight). Cosmic Cow was truly the right hand cow of Ted Lange, because that cow would live on his right hand as he worked. Ted was a San Francisco cartoonist and Cosmic Cow was an intergalactic superhero and star of his weekly children’s comic strip. To get his artistic creativity going, Ted would fist Cosmic Cow as he worked and ask for advice and sometimes stick a pen in the cow’s mouth and use that bitch to draw. Ted talking to a puppet is just one example of the things people do when they work at home by themselves. You find yourself talking to anything. You go crazy. I sometimes ask my dog for advice while writing a post and he sometimes answers with a fart, which explains the stupid shit I produce.

Too Close For Comfort ended for good in 1987 after 6 seasons, but is it too late to start a petition to demand that Cosmic Cow get properly name-checked in the intro?

Since Hollywood is currently in the mood to revive stuff, they should bring back Too Close For Comfort, or at least give the greenlight to an eagerlyfucking-awaited spin-off starring Cosmic Cow and Monroe Ficus. And if they do a spin-off, can they please not write an episode where Cosmic Cow and Monroe Ficus get kidnapped and raped by two women? I’m sure 80s kids still bring up that traumatizing episode in therapy sessions.

Pic: YouTube

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