Chris Brown and Soulja Boy are apparently still going through with that boxing match. Soulja Boy, who claims the fight is happening in March in either Las Vegas or Los Angeles and not Dubai, hired Floyd Mayweather Jr. to train him. Chris Brown has proven repeatedly that he’s proficient at punching and doesn’t technically need a trainer, but he got one anyway. Chris Brown has hired Mike Tyson as his coach. “Why did I just get the chills?” thought every operator of a domestic violence hotline. One of Mike’s first duties as Chris Brown’s team was to release a diss track aimed at Soulja Boy called If You Show Up.
If You Show Up is barely a song. Mike Tyson basically just slowly threatens that Chris Brown is going to knock Soulja Boy’s ass out. He also claims that if Soulja Boy shows up, Chris Brown will make him shit his pants. Okay, I’ll admit, I would totally watch a fight that ends with someone dropping a terror dookie out the bottom of their shorts.
Mike Tyson doesn’t appear in the video for If You Show Up. Instead, he’s hired a variety of ladies (and a budget Soulja Boy impersonator) to lip sync it for him in what appears to be a random North Hollywood condo building. The end result is a video that looks like it was made after RuPaul announced that this week’s mini-challenge was to show off their lip sync skills in a video before condo security kicks them out for trespassing.
Soulja Boy responded with a song of his own featuring 50 Cent called Hit Em With The Draco. Of course his song is all about knocking out Chris Brown
YAWN. Both of those fight songs are just a bunch of “I’m gonna kick your ass” followed by “no, I’m gonna kick YOUR ass.” If Mike Tyson really wanted to get into Soulja Boy’s head, he would have done something way more mentally intimidating with his fight song. Like a remake of the video for Fight Song by Rachel Platten.
I can’t think of anything that would sike Soulja Boy out more than seeing Mike Tyson in a blonde wig air punching to the ultimate suburban 12-year-old girl anthem.