Who Is Hot Slut Of 2016? Vote In Round Three!

January 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Congratulations to the legendary Not The One hero of the Bronx Bernice Starnes for winning Round Two of the Hot Slut of the Year showdown! Bernice will go on to the grand finals  where she’ll battle it out against fellow fuck-deficient jewel, the late Flossie Dickey, and the winner of Round Three.

In my cold medicine-induced haze, I totally jacked up the order in Round Two, so the winning HSOTM from July, Joyce Beatty, is in this round instead. Don’t yell at me for screwing up! Yell at Alka-Seltzer Severe Sinus Congestion & Cough for not stating on the box that you should not take it if you need to put together an extremely important contest on the internet. It’s their fault. Now let’s move on to who will face off with the President of Petty Joyce Beatty in this round.

JulyRep. Joyce Beatty, the U.S. representative for Ohio’s 3rd congressional district who masterfully trolled Melania Trump at the Democratic National Convention when she wore the exact same dress that Melania wore to the Republican National Convention. If Joyce Beatty goes to the inauguration, I hope she keeps the trolling going by wearing head-to-toe yellow.

October Ana Navarro, the anti-Trump warrior who regularly slayed tricks during the election (and after too) and won my heart several times, but really won it when she screamed “PUSSY” on CNN. If Ana goes to DC for the inauguration, I hope she keeps the slaying going over there by wearing head-to-toe yellow or this.

NovemberBoston, the seriously talented Boxer who shut down the Mannequin Challenge by doing it a trillion times better than anyone else. In unexpectedly awful news, Boston died not too long ago after getting hit by a car. So Boston is now in heaven, beating the angels in the Mannequin Challenge. (Although, for his sake, I hope the Mannequin Challenge is only a thing that happens on earth and in hell.)

DecemberMcDonald’s McAss cup, the holiday cup from McDonald’s that was supposed to be two mittens but instantly became a pair of spread ass cheeks (aka the official emblem of Dlisted) when you drew hands on it.

Voting is the below. The winner of Round Three will be announced on Thursday and we’ll FINALLY go on to the Final Round. I know your voting finger is worn out like you just had a hot night with Kanye, but hold on a little longer. It’s almost over.


Pic: Getty, Instagram, @Ryan_Thomas02, @SamSykesSwears

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