Open Post: Hosted By Margot Robbie As Tonya Harding

January 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Above is a picture from 1999 of the real Tonya Harding working a Florida Tuxedo (it’s like a Canadian tuxedo but without sleeves) and a gorgeous White Rain-encrusted curling iron bang. If that picture was taken in 1994, I’d say that Tonya won the Gold Medal in Shade by throwing that “At least my knee works, bitch” pose. And below are the first pictures of Margot Robbie in Tonya Harding drag on the set of the biopic I, Tonya (working title: I, Margot, Really Want A Fucking Oscar).

That movie also stars Sebastian Stan as Tonya’s child-toucher-looking ex-husband Jeff Gillooly and Allison Janney as Tonya’s abusive mother LaVona Golden. Heather Langenkamp, star of Tonya & Nancy: The Inside Story, is reprising her role as Nancy Kerrigan. That last sentence was co-written by Wishful Thinking. They haven’t said who’s playing Nancy.

When this movie was first announced, my first thought was, “AMY ADAMS WAS ROBBED OF A HOT ROLE YET AGAIN!” My second thought was that Margot should go ahead and add “future Oscar winner” to her autograph, because nothing gives the Academy a leaky voting boner like a gorgeous chick homely-ing herself down for a movie role. But now I’m not so sure. Thanks to prosthetics, Margot is a little Tony Harding-ish in the face, but that hair is not deep fried enough and what in the name of a deformed He-Man action figure is going on with her body? It looks like she’s wearing a child-sized inflatable muscle man costume underneath that sweater.

I know that Tonya was a little bulkier than the other figure skaters, but Margot looks like Tonya after Tonya was exposed to gamma radiation. Maybe that’s Tonya after the Olympics when she gained some chunk, but still. It’s dreadful that Margot is wearing padding. Margot’s Suicide Squad co-star and the thespian who practically created method acting, Jared Leto, must be so embarrassed to share the same profession with her. If Jared got the role of Tonya Harding, he would’ve gained weight by following Rob Kardashian around for a week and eating everything Rob ate, and he’d gain arm muscle by hitting people in the knee with a police baton over and over again. When Margot begins her Oscar campaign, what is she going to say to prove that she truly suffered for her art?! “Well, the child-sized inflatable muscle man costume I wore underneath my sweaters was kind of itchy.”

Here’s the embarrassment of method actors everywhere at LAX earlier this month with her new husband.

Pics: Wenn.com, Buzzfeed/TonyaHarding.com

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