Kris Jenner must be changing her Spanx every 20 minutes due to all the attention-triggered pee dribbles she’s been letting out over this week. First there were the arrests, and now there are charges. I bet she’s already contacted Ryan Murphy and asked how much he’d pay for the exclusive rights to a little script she’s thrown together called American Krime Story: Kim vs. The Jewelry Thieves. “And if you need someone to play the lead role, I’ve been told I’m a dead ringer for Kim!”
E! News says that a spokesperson for the Paris prosecutors office has confirmed that charges have been brought against four of the suspects arrested earlier this week in connection with Kim Kardashian’s Paris robbery. 63-year-old Yunice A. was charged with committing a robbery with a gun, abduction or sequestration, and association with criminals. 64-year-old Marceau B. was charged with concealment in a organized gang and association of criminals. 45-year-old Florus H. was charged with counts of complicity in a robbery with a gun, complicity in abduction, and sequestration and association with criminals. And Gary M., the 27-year-old brother of one of Kim’s frequently-used Paris chauffeurs, was charged with conspiracy. Gary M. has since been released from custody, but is required to check in with French authorities.
There are still about a dozen people connected to Kim’s robbery that haven’t been charged yet.
I don’t know if this will end up going to trial. I’m sure Kim would rather see Yunice A. and Florus H. and the rest take a plea deal, because she doesn’t want to be holed up in a courtroom for a long trial. And it would be a long trial. Kim’s testimony alone would take about 2 months to get through. When Kim takes the stand, Kris is going to demand she give her testimony three times. Kris will want to make sure the KUWTK cameras get her once from the left, once from the right, and once from behind to catch Khloe and Kourtney’s reactions while they slowly eat salads.
Here’s Kim leaving LAX and arriving in Dubai yesterday in a mismatched tracksuit and a fake lip ring. All that’s missing is a can of Monster Zero Ultra.