If Lindsay Lohan didn’t scrub her Instagram page clean and was still posting it, I would say that we should all prepare to see pics from her “mystery trip” in the Middle East, because her mom’s got serious, serious bills to pay and Dina Lohan can’t pay them herself. Are you crazy? When White Oprah even thinks of the word “job,” she breaks out into invisible hives and the only cure is a refreshing Long Island Iced tea from T.G.I. Friday’s.
This isn’t the first time that the Lohan family’s Chateau de Delusion in Merrick, NY has been close to foreclosure. Three years ago, JPMorgan Chase hit her with a lawsuit for not making payments on a $1.3 million loan. Page Six says that White Oprah must’ve worked out some kind of payment plan with them, because the lawsuit eventually went as dead as the feeling in your genitals after seeing a picture of Michael Lohan without a top on. But in February 2016, the lawsuit was brought back to life when JPMorgan Chase went back to court and started up foreclosure procedures again.
Since White Oprah has better things to do (example of better things: trying to convince the manager at Friday’s to take Cody Lohan as payment for her booze bill), she didn’t respond and didn’t show up in court. So in December 2016, the judge gave the bank the right to foreclose and the 4,119-square-foot house is expected to hit the auction block. Page Six thinks that since she hasn’t tried to fight JPMorgan at all, she may have already moved out. On top of that, Radar says that White Oprah owes the states of California and New York a total of $9,375.28 in unpaid taxes and the private school where Cody went has sued her for $10,483.
Because it seems like White Oprah may be homeless and broke, Lindsay Lohan should probably expect a knock on her door any day now. And when White Oprah bursts in on LiLo and LiLo’s gentleman caller, she’ll probably slur out the words, “The party’s here, kids! Hey, bub, how about a Sportman’s Double? We’ll give you a good deal. I’m joking! Or am I? *wink wink*” White Oprah shouldn’t do that, because if she did, she’d end up in more debt after getting an invoice from the guy for the brain bleach he had to buy.
And let’s end this White Oprah post on two beautiful notes, the first being this beautiful picture of the best Lohan, Nana Lohan (real name: Ann Sullivan), celebrating her 93rd birthday
Yes, White Oprah may have snuck into a funeral home during a viewing and snatched those flowers when nobody was looking, but it’s the thought that counts. And the second beautiful note is these pictures from last May at the RuPaul’s Drag Race finale viewing party in NYC. Take in the beauty of two prides of New York: Dina Lohan and Tiffany Pollard!