And In “Somebody Must Need A Check In A Bad Way” News….

January 13, 2017 / Posted by:

The Grammys are on February 12, and I’m sure that the likes of Beyonce, Adele, Drake and Rihanna are all going to show up, but really, who cares about that dusty ceremony filled with has-beens and Zzzz-listers? Because next week, a bigly star-studded musical event is going to go down. The Hollywood Reporter confirms that a line-up of sparkly stars from the A-list universe have signed on to perform at Donald Trump’s pre-inauguration concert. That “line-up of sparkly stars from the A-list universe” line wasn’t wrapped in sarcasm. I only had to Google the names of like one or two performers and when it comes to Trump’s inauguration, that makes it 100% A-list!

The night before Jabba the Trump becomes the 45th President of the United States of America (which will soon be re-named “The Russian Territory Known As Trumperica“), a pre-inauguration concert will be held at the Lincoln Memorial and the performers will include: Toby Keith, Lee Greenwood, The Piano Guys and America’s answer to Nickelback 3 Doors Down. Jon Voight will also do something at that event. I hear that Clint Eastwood’s empty chair was also asked to appear, but quickly passed on that offer.

Jennifer Holliday was announced as a performer by Trump’s inauguration spokesman, but her publicist quickly piped in and said that she hasn’t agreed…yet. They gave this statement to The Wrap:

“Jennifer has been asked to perform but she hasn’t officially agreed to do so yet. I’ll let you know later this afternoon for sure if she’ll be performing.”

I’m not totally sure, but I think that statement is publicist talk for: “Jennifer did agree to perform, but after getting a lot of shit on Twitter and beyond, she went back to Trump’s people to get more money. I’ll let you know later this afternoon if they cough up the extra cash.”

That list of glittering stars will join the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Jackie Evancho, The Rockettes, Cowboy Troy, Big & Rich, Caitlyn Jenner and a Bruce Springsteen cover band in celebrating the inauguration.

Trump practically mouth shits up his own rendition of And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going in every speech he does, so Jennifer Holliday makes sense. And Trump really, really wasn’t lying when he said that his inauguration is going to have an assful of huge stars. I, for one, can’t wait for the next announcement of performers, which will definitely include: the marching band from Trump University (aka a wind-up monkey playing cymbals), Insane Suburbs (Barstow’s second biggest Crazy Town cover band) and Jamie from WB Superstar USA:

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned by insinuating that the winner of one of America’s greatest reality shows in history is a has-been.


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