If you’re ever looking for a drinking game to play by yourself, just turn on HGTV and do a shot every time one of the designers says, “I’m thinking that we should do the lower kitchen cabinets in navy….” You’ll be three navy sheets to the wind in no damn time.
Last month, we all learned that the Flip or Flop couple’s travertine kingdom of love had crumbled into a billion pieces months ago and that they were pretending like everything’s okay in front of the cameras. Since then, those of us who care learned that Christina El Moussa is dating her friend and contractor Gary Anderson and Tarek El Moussa wet humped on the nanny for a minute. It seems like the two house flipping Orange County mannequins are done forever and that their marriage has been declared a tear down, because Tarek has filed for divorce.
Tarek’s lawyer told People yesterday that he filed for divorce from Christina after 7 years of marriage. The lawyer also said that Tarek and Christina are trying to keep shit as normal as possible for their two kids and will continue to work on Flip or Flop together. Today, TMZ burped up a question mark when they said that Tarek is asking for spousal support and wants the judge to block Christina from trying to get spousal support from him.
That move is weird since they’re both real estate agents and they both do the same job on the show, pretty much. Maybe Christina passed her poon to Gary while she and Tarek were together and he’s going to use that to get more money? Or maybe Christina makes a lot of extra money doing her side job, which is using her God-given annoying voice to record audio clips that are used to torture prisoners? Or maybe, just maybe, Tarek has some serious dirt on Christina that will ruin her career if it gets out. Maybe Christina really… wait for it… hates travertine and the color grey! If that gets out, not only will it destroy Christina, but it will destroy us, the viewers who wasted hours watching their show and won’t be able to handle the tragic truth.