Chris Brown And Soulja Boy Are Planning A Pay-Per-View Fight In Dubai

January 10, 2017 / Posted by:

This should be good news for anyone who has wanted to get rid of a bunch of cash in a dumb way but can’t find a pack of matches or a paper shredder. You will soon have the chance to pay to watch Chris Brown and Soulja Boy work out their anger by wailing on each other.

Last week, Soulja Boy decided he still really wanted to fight Chris Brown after all and got Floyd Mayweather Jr. involved in this ridiculous stunt. Floyd’s company, Mayweather Promotions, agreed to organize a fight between 26-year-old attention whore mess Soulja and 27-year-old violent mess Chris.

TMZ says that Chris Brown and Souja Boy can’t legally fight in the US, so they’re planning to fight in Dubai. One of the reasons why Chris and Soulja are fighting in Dubai is because their first choice, Las Vegas, requires mandatory drugs tests for amateur fighters. And we all know Chris has a better chance of getting his ban lifted at Life Time Fitness than passing a drug test, which is why they’re angling for an overseas fight.

Even though this seems like a sad, desperate, ill-advised publicity stunt, sources tell TMZ that the fight isn’t a publicity stunt. Chris Brown and Soulja Boy reportedly genuinely hate each other and really want to beat the shit out of each other. But the only thing they want more than the chance to throw weak punches at their enemy is to cash a big fat paycheck. That’s why the fight will be a pay-per-view event. TMZ says they think they could make millions, and that some of the money might go to charity.

I’m all for the pay-per-view option, on one condition: that anyone who pays gets their name made available under the freedom of information act. That way, friends, family, and co-workers can judge them for paying money to watch something they could have seen for free after school in a mall food court.

Pic: Instagram

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