But while many sprained the muscles in their face from cringing over Tom Hiddleston’s self-absorbed acceptance speech, I nearly squirted out a tear over how he and Taylor Swift didn’t make it past the contract renegotiation stage. I learned last night that they are really perfect for each other. They both seem to love a shameless photo-op and they both have a gift for making absolutely everything about them. They really were a match made in ME ME ME HELL.
At last night’s Golden Globes, Tom beat Courtney B. Vance for the Best Performance By An Actor in a Miniseries or Television Film trophy and his speech started out pretty normal. Tom thanked everyone involved with The Night Manager, and then he made people put their eyeballs in the pre-rolling position when he said that he was about to tell a quick story. Tom’s quick story didn’t start about bad either. Tom talked about going to South Sudan with UNICEF and briefly said words about the situation there, and then his quick story drove right onto the Taylor Swift Expressway when he pretentiously bragged about how the men and women of Doctors Without Borders watched his show. I kind of got the point of what Tom was trying to say, but to some, it still came off as: MY TV SHOW SAVES LIVES!!!!!
“One night we were having a bite to eat at the canteen where we were staying, and a group of young men and women tottered over to the table, and we were all having what they call a ‘dirty beer’ in humanitarian language. They were a group of Médecins Sans Frontières doctors and nurses, and they wanted to say hello because during the shelling of the previous month, they had binge-watched The Night Manager. And the idea that I could provide, or that we could provide, some relief and entertainment for the people who worked for UNICEF and Médecins Sans Frontières and the World Food Program, who are fixing the world in the places where it is broken, made me immensely proud. So I dedicate this to those out there who are doing their best.”
If that was Tom’s way of trying to win back Taylor Swift, I have a feeling it’s going to work. I’m sure that in a few weeks, Tay Tay will post a picture on Instagram of her and Tom snuggling while watching one of her concert specials with a bunch of doctors and nurses in the Doctors Without Borders’ break room in South Sudan. And if you don’t know how to feel about Tom’s speech, let Christian Slater’s facial expression guide you (at the 1:47 mark).
Tom was leaving a GGs after-party last night and TMZ’s ass-kissing cameraman asked him about the hate his speech is getting on Twitter. Tom acted like he hasn’t been checking Twitter every second for people’s response to his speech and said he didn’t know what was being said. TMZ’s cameraman let him know and Tom just said, “I would say we all have to do the best we can to help each other out, is what I would say.”
The thing is, Tom’s speech wasn’t only embarrassing, it was factually wrong! I doubt that the doctors and nurses of Doctors Without Borders talked to him about The Night Manager. Please, they probably don’t know what that is! I bet that the only thing they said to him was, “So, tell us what our favorite entertainer in the world world Taylor Swift is really like?!”