…and so am I, obviously.
It’s been over a week since Mariah Carey’s gigantic shit show hit Times Square and instead of letting the people forget about it, she and her manager Stella Bulochnikov keep bringing it up over and over again. I had no idea that Mimi was the type who after she takes a colossal shit in her toilet, texts you a picture of it and then brings it up again a week later over drinks…and again a week after that over dinner.
Right after Mimi made a crap year a little better with her lip-synch fail from the Gods, she shrugged the messiness off by tweeting, “Shit happens.” She should’ve left it at that, but she and Stella kept screaming at how Dick Clark Productions sabotaged her for the sake of attention and ratings. Mimi has already said she was “mortified.” And Stella will tell anyone who puts an audio recorder in front of her face that DCP let Mimi look like a wreck because they wanted the attention. DCP has said over and over again that Mimi’s tech people are to blame and she barely rehearsed. On Sunday morning, Mimi instructed one of her assistants to kick the dead horse again. Mimi can’t kick the dead horse herself. That requires physical labor, darling.
Mimi’s Instagram spit up 2 audio clips of her telling her lambs that she’s taking a sabbatical from social media and she also explained why she needed to lip-synch. Here’s a piece of the excuse that fluttered out of the unicorn butterfly’s mouth:
“It’s not practical for a singer to sing live and be able to hear themselves properly in the middle of Times Square with all the noise, the freezing cold, the smoke from the smoke machines, and thousands of people celebrating, especially when their ear monitors are not working properly.
Listen guys, [DCP] foiled me, thus it turned into an opportunity to humiliate me and all those who were excited to ring in the New Year with me. Eventually, I will explain this in greater detail than I can give here.”
Here’s a clip, which sounds like it was recorded in a box and has the emotion of a bored telemarketer reading from a script:
While I appreciate Mimi’s use of the dramatic comic book word “FOILED,” she needs to get the fuck over it and bury this “controversy” next to the remains of the minion who dared to say, “not really,” after she asked them if she looked super skinny in her bedazzled leotard. I get that she has a reality show to sell, but we don’t need endless explanations. If she wants to pump up the drama, she and her lambs should jump Ryan Seacrest for supposedly doing her wrong. Although, she wouldn’t really have to “jump” him. She’d just have to mess up his perfectly-coiffed hair with her hands and watch as he melted into a puddle of sad goblin tears.