Donald Trump Shit On The Reality Show He Makes Money From

January 6, 2017 / Posted by:

All of you Trump H8RZ can now shut your crying holes over how the overused foundation puff doesn’t focus on real issues and tweets stupid stuff to distract the people from what’s really going on. This morning, Donald Trump finally addressed the one issue every American cares about: the ratings for The New Celebrity Apprentice!

Jabba the Trump spent a piece of his morning trashing a reality show, which is tradition for president-elects. Don’t you remember how in 2008 when Obama threw a hissy fit on MySpace over Bret Michaels choosing Daisy de la Whora instead of Ambre Lake on Rock of Love 2? Or how in 2000 when Dubya lost it on his Angelfire-hosted site about how Big Brother is shit compared to the British version and should be canceled? Or how in 1861 when Abraham Lincoln ranted in the town square over Mary Todd Lincoln getting passed up for a spot in the original Real Housewives of DC? It was Trump’s turn to do the highly presidential task of shitting on a reality show, and he shit on the show he’s an executive producer on.

The New Celebrity Apprentice, hosted by Arnold Schwarzenegger, premiered on January 2nd with a 1.3 rating in adults 18-49 and 4.9 million viewers. Deadline says those numbers are down 46% from the season 7 premiere of The Celebrity Apprentice, which was hosted by the future leader of the free (for now) world. Arnold didn’t support Trump in the election, so of course, the insecure 8-year-old in a chipolte-glazed raisin costume had to drag him on Twitter.

Arnold responded to Trump’s chest puff with a few tweets and he even quoted Lincoln. Not sure why he didn’t recite one of Lincoln’s most famous quotes: “Fuck those flop producers of R.H.O.D.C. for passing up Mrs. M.T.L.! Big mistake!

Trump has a really good point. The Celebrity Apprentice is nothing without him. What he should do is quit being president-elect before the inauguration and go back to telling Real Housewives that they didn’t sell enough pizza slices to their rich friends during the challenge so they’re fired. Who cares about being president! Being the head ho on The Celebrity Apprentice is a much more prestigious position! America needs him! (Just go with me on this…)

Pic: AP

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