None of the guards above are the one who almost shot Queen Elizabeth II. If you want to see a current picture of the bastard who almost shot THE QUEEN, here you go:
No, like THE QUEEN would really let that motherfucker be buried in a cemetery with a tombstone and everything. No, surprisingly, he’s still alive and was able to tell the story of the time he nearly took THE QUEEN out and put the crown on Prince Charles’ head.
An ex-guard told The London Times (via E! News) that the Queen sometimes takes late-night walks around the palace when she can’t sleep. One night, the guard was patrolling when his eyes spotted someone lurking in the darkness. Was it Prince Hot Ginge who wanted to impress a one-night-trick by doing her in the throne room? Was it Morrissey sneaking in to switch out the Queen’s favorite biscuits with laxative wafers? When the guard called out, “Who’s there?“, he discovered it was the Queen herself, which probably caused him to make a sticky toffee pudding in his knickers.
In a fit of relief, he couldn’t help but blurt out, “Bloody hell, Your Majesty, I nearly shot you!”
After realizing he spoke out of turn, he waited to be scolded. However, he said the Queen simply replied, “That’s quite all right. Next time I’ll ring through beforehand so you don’t have to shoot me.”
I’d like to think that the Queen always carries her beloved pocketbook (even on late-night walks to meet her booty call, that’s what she was doing, right?), so even if that guard accidentally shot, her trusty purse probably would’ve stopped the bullet.
The Queen has been sick lately, but once she gets better, I’m sure she’ll magically appear before that ex-guard and have a little word with him about putting her business on the street!