Open Post: Hosted By The Plushie Coyote Who Trolled Mimi

January 5, 2017 / Posted by:

The Indiana Pacers already tugged at Mariah Carey’s Spanx by making fun of her magnificent New Year’s Eve performance, and last night the San Antonio Spurs got in on the trolling fun. Coyotes are already sworn enemies of the lambs, but now they really are after one of them went for the Queen of the Lambs.

The Spurs’ mascot, The Coyote, tried to recreate Mimi’s act of messiness during halftime on Tuesday night, but failed. First of all, that ensemble is all wrong, dahling! There’s no sequins and not one rhinestone on that leotard! And Mimi would rather clean JLo’s ass with her butterfly tongue than wear that dreadful Forever 21 faux fur jacket thing. Second of all, that leotard is not tight enough. It should be making The Coyote’s pussy choke so hard that a person in the audience runs up to perform the Heimlich on it. Third of all, The Coyote didn’t even include one of the breakout stars of Mimi’s performance: the faulty earpiece! Nothing’s better than the real thing, I guess.

I was going to say that I bet that demon child Ariana Grande Latte is in that costume, but she’s not. The Coyote is way too tall and has way too much dancing talent to be Ariana Grande.

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