Chris Pratt Found Jesus Outside A Hawaiian Grocery Store

January 4, 2017 / Posted by:


Some people have experienced a Come to Jesus moment in their lifetime. They can happen in many ways. Your horrified uptight aunt catches you and your cousins sipping from a 30-year-old bottle of crème de menthe in the basement and drags you all to church, for example. In Chris Pratt’s case, he came together with Jesus (that sounds really wrong) outside of a Hawaiian grocery store back before he was famous.

Chris Pratt spoke with Vanity Fair about Passengers and Guardians of the Galaxy 2 and was asked by writer Rich Cohen why he chose to Passengers.  Chris answered, “It’s the best script I’ve ever read.” Rich must have wanted to prevent himself from following that up with an “Uhhh…are you sure you want that on the record?“, because the conversation moved to Chris’ journey to Hollywood. When Chris was in his early 20s, he moved from his home in Washington state to a van down by the water in Hawaii. Chris was discovered in Hawaii by Rae Dawn Chong while he was waiting tables at a Bubba Gump Shrimp. Hawaii is also where he was introduced to a guy named Jesus through a random guy named Henry.

“I was sitting outside a grocery store – we’d convinced someone to go in and buy us beer. This is Maui. And a guy named Henry came up and recognized something in me that needed to be saved. He asked what I was doing that night, and I was honest. I said, ‘My friend’s inside buying me alcohol.’ ‘You going to go party?’ he asked. ‘Yeah.’ ‘Drink and do drugs? Meet girls, fornication?’ I was like, ‘I hope so.’ I was charmed by this guy, don’t know why. He was an Asian dude, maybe Hawaiian, in his 40s. It should’ve made me nervous but didn’t. I said, ‘Why are you asking?’ He said, ‘Jesus told me to talk to you.’ At that moment I was like, I think I have to go with this guy. He took me to church. Over the next few days I surprised my friends by declaring that I was going to change my life.”

This situation is so much funnier if you picture Jesus in a pair of flip-flops hiding behind a shopping cart cursing Henry out under his breath while watching him talk to Chris. “Henry, duuuuude! No! You were supposed to ask where the drinking, drugs, and fornicating was going down and if we could tag along! You blew it, man!

Chris continued to be tight with Jesus and his dad, God. He claims his first real job as a door-to-door salesman was God’s way of helping prepare him for auditioning and the subsequent rejection that comes with a career in Hollywood.

“That’s why I believe in God and the divine. I feel like it was perfectly planned. People talk about rejection in Hollywood. I’m like, ‘You’re outta your fuckin’ mind. Did you ever have someone sic their dog on you at an audition?'”

I don’t know. I’m sure some actor or actress somewhere, in the middle of their seventh blown audition for a yeast infection cream commercial, has secretly wished someone would sic Air Bud on them to just end the whole thing so they can get in their car and spend two hours in traffic on the 405 to get to their night shift job at the Granada Hills Target.

Pics: Mark Seliger/Vanity Fair

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