Janet Jackson’s Baby Is Here

January 3, 2017 / Posted by:

Seen above making the same face that her baby son will make after learning that he gets to call Detective La Toya JacksonAuntie Detective La Toya Jackson,” Janet Jackson birthed out the kid that she was pregnant with for at least 399 months (it felt like that anyway).

Janet’s rep tells People that her baby with her Qatari billionaire husband Wissam Al Mana was born today. The baby is Wissam’s first child and Janet’s second (I will forever be a Jackson/DeBarge secret baby truther). 50-year-old Janet and 42-year-old Wissam have named their son Eissa. Cut to Janet and Wissam’s house staff hanging a sign that reads “EISSA BOY!” on one of their garage doors.

“Janet Jackson and husband Wissam Al Mana are thrilled to welcome their new son Eissa Al Mana into the world. Janet had a stress-free healthy delivery and is resting comfortably.”

Okay, I’ve never seen a human birth in person before and I also don’t know the lingo, but I would think that a “stress-free delivery” is something that doesn’t exist even if the mom is drugged up to the ends of the earth. A birth is the epitome of stress to me. But maybe it really was a stress-free birth. Maybe Tia La Toya entered the delivery room and sang so gorgeously that Janet was lulled into a trance as Baby Eissa immediately slipped out of her body to get a better listen to the beautiful sound he was hearing. That’s probably what Janet’s rep meant.

Pic: Splash

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