It seems like only yesterday that Taylor Swift was living her Jackie O. fantasy, sinking her teeth and nails into then 18-year-old Conor Kennedy. Well, Conor is all grown up now (a wizened 22-year-old), and he’s doing grown people shit. Like, for instance, getting into bar fights at nightclubs in Aspen, Colorado.
The Aspen Times reports that Conor was out with his buddy at a club when some jerks called his friend a gay slur. So young master Kennedy dusted off his finest slapping glove and demanded that the brute apologize.
It didn’t settle things. About an hour later after the incident, the club let out. And, well, it doesn’t sound like that extra hour of boozing did anyone any favors.
One of the men did come over and apologize to his friend at that point, he said. But when the crowd began leaving the club an hour later, at least two of the men began using homophobic slurs against Conor Kennedy’s friend again and he told them to stop, Robert Kennedy said.
One of the men asked what he was going to do about it and took a swing at Conor Kennedy and the fight broke out, he said. No physical contact occurred between the men and Conor Kennedy’s gay friend, Robert Kennedy said, terming the incident “menacing.”
That’s daddy Robert Kennedy’s take on it. The cops added a little more more to the fight and, frankly, Conor comes out looking pretty tough.
[Officer] Atkinson reported seeing Conor Kennedy grab another man by his shirt, pull him down so he was bent over and hit him four or five times in the back of the head with his fists, Magnuson said. Officers attempted to break up the fight but Conor Kennedy — listed in the affidavit as 6-foot-3-inches and 200 pounds — continued to try to attack the man, prompting Atkinson to restrain him, he said.
Well hellooo, Conor! I wonder if he still feels pretty good about dating older women (me) or if Taylor ruined that forever…
And don’t worry, Conor apologized to the cop for having acted like a fool. I imagine it went something like, “Oh, officer, one thousand apologies. I’m afraid my chum was spoken to in a most uncouth manner by some local ruffians, and, well, I’m terribly sorry that my gentlemanly duties demanded that I defend his honor. A half crown for your troubles.” Or something fancy like that. I don’t know. I grew up eating box mac and cheese.
Ultimately, Conor was charged with disorderly conduct, which is a misdemeanor. So this will have pretty much zero effect on the rest of his life, except for the glamour and glory I’m seeing in that mugshot. With that lighting exaggerating his features, he looks kind of like a caricature of himself. And yep, I still would. I’d nibble on those ears until the live-in help had to come in and turn a hose on me. Eat your heart out, Taylor!
Pic: Aspen PD