Afternoon Crumbs

December 29, 2016 / Posted by: Michael K

Serena Williams got engaged to Reddit co-founder, Alexis Ohanian, and she announced it with a poem on Reddit. At the top of the list of random things have happened this year is the Queen of Tennis being so damn dickmatized by the co-founder of Reddit that she wrote a poem about their engagement. And don’t worry about Drake, he’s probably drying his sad tears on JLo’s nalgas as I type this – Jezebel

Sorry, Scott Eastwood, but your application for Pussy Posse membership is incomplete without pictures and stats of all the new models you’re going to bring into the crew – Lainey Gossip

Brad Pitt had a “cordial” Christmas hang out with his children. The use of the word “cordial” makes it sound like everyone was quiet and after Brad handed gifts over to his kids, they threw him a look that said, “The gift receipt better be in here because I’m returning it.” Sounds just like past Christmases with my dad! – Celebitchy

My guess is that Chanel West Coast is on her way to mass in that ensemble. Because that outfit is so demure that it’s fit for God – Drunken Stepfather

Charlie Sheen wants 2016 to take Donald Trump next. Charlie better watch it or he’s going to end up at the top of Trump’s deportation list. Hey, Charlie is part Spanish and that’s practically Mexican to Trump! – The Superficial

Peter Thomas of the Real Housewives of Atlanta wants everyone to think that Bravo is giving him a spin-off show. Bravo will be dead to me if they give Papa Smurf a spin-off show before they give one to Mama Joyce – Reality Tea

Emily RideAJetSki gave eyeglass fetishists a little gift for the holidays – Popoholic

Here’s Stella Maxwell, Kristen Stewart’s new full-time fuck partner, doing her day job – Hollywood Tuna

I need to slap my eyeballs several times for mistaking a Kartrashian hanger-on for Alexis Arquette – WWTDD

George Michael’s partner put out an unreleased song of his – OMG Blog

T.I. and Tiny are that melodramatic couple who file for divorce one minute, and get back together the next – HipHopDX

Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery’s holiday has been filled with newborn wails and baby drool, because they’re parents again – Popsugar

The !!!OUTRAGE!!! machine really went into overdrive over Steve Martin’s tweet about Carrie Fisher – Just Jared

Pic: Instagram

Tags: Afternoon Crumbs

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