Because of all the sadness that has filled this year and holiday week, there’s a black cloud constantly shitting on top of our heads, so here’s some oiled-up man nipples to temporarily take us up, up and away.
NewNowNext says that this week, the floors of movie theaters in the Netherlands will be covered with layers of Dutch crotch custard when Onze Jongens (Our Boys) opens. Onze Jongens is sort of like the Dutch stripper man baby of The Full Monty and Magic Mike. It’s about a Dutch Channing Tatum type (although he’s giving me “lost Skarsgard brother with a touch of Paul Walker and a dash of Theo James”) who comes back to town to an ex-wife who really doesn’t want to see his face, a son whose disappointed by him and a friend whose construction business is eating dirty ass and not in a hot way. But after finding out that Dutch Channing Tatum’s muscled-up hotness makes the ladies reach for both their ham wallets and actual wallets, the construction workers start a man stripper troupe!
Even though the trailer is in Dutch, there’s still way too much dialogue for me, but they make up for it with plenty of half-naked dudes and man ass.
It looks like Onze Jongens has one thing over Magic Mike. There’s none of that annoying Cody Horn chick to break boners and soften nipple tips by whining about how the hot men need to stop stripping.
The makers of Onze Jongens should put that in the poster: And with ZERO Cody Horn!