As Allison reported last week, rumors have been swirling the gossip toilet bowl that Drake and Jennifer Lopez are humping on the down-low. As we know, whenever two famous tricks score a sweet rebound with one another, it’s only a matter of time before the tabloids start farting out headlines about how the exes are completely devastated.
Well, someone at The Sun forgot that Rihanna is an ancient and powerful Caribbean fire goddess and tried to re-use the Jennifer Aniston “Grieving Ex” playbook in handling the Drake/JLo situation.
RiRi and Drake only recently ended the latest leg of their long, drawn-out love affair and the news that he has already moved on — let alone with one of her fellow stars — has not gone down well.
“People in Rihanna’s circle are saying she is very unhappy about the whole thing.
“Only a few months ago she and Drake were still together.
“A few months ago” might as well be a few centuries in RiRi time. She never seemed like she was very gung ho about being publicly attached to Wheelchair Jimmy, and who can blame her? She’s a come-to-life “boy bye” gif and he’s a Canadian child star named Aubrey.
Drake and Rihanna broke off their whatever-that-was sometime in October. JLo split with Casper Smart a few months before that and was courting some sweet, sweet attention via a little on-stage amor prohibido with her ex-husband Marc Anthony. Meanwhile, until recently, Drake had been playing that godawful are-they-or-aren’t-they? game with girlfriend Material Barbie®, Taylor Swift (if your eyes haven’t rolled all the way back in your head after reading that, then thank you and congratulations).
Drake and JLo just happen to be collaborating on a song at the moment, so I’m sure this romance is just a very real, very profound byproduct of two artists finding common creative ground. But in the meantime, I trust RiRi to come through as she always does: posting photos of her hanging out with princes, riding around on yachts, performing glamorous twerks on Instagram and generally giving a Mimi-approved “I don’t know him” wherever Drake drama is concerned.