Angelina Jolie Would Like Brad Pitt To Stop PR Whoring For Christmas

December 24, 2016 / Posted by:

In between her usual holiday activities such as having her child army decorate the United Nations building and choosing which of her 12,025 black dresses to wear at Christmas dinner, Angelina Jolie also completed her holiday wish list. It has but one item – “1. For my ex to stop his lies!.”

Our Lady of the Messy Divorce is reportedly calling “BULLSHIT” on that story about Brad Pitt wanting to have the documents about their custody battle sealed.

The Daily Mail reports that sainthood shoe-in Angie already agreed to that and this is just “a press move” proving that Brad is a media whore looking for attention johns.

‘Yesterday’s filing makes no sense legally,’ the source told DailyMail.

‘Everyone was surprised that he filed with the court because he already filed with the court before. Besides, Angelina had already signed an agreement to seal the court file. It protects the children and it also protects information about Brad.’

It was added: ‘All parties have already agreed and signed. The accusation that she is not protecting the privacy of her children is clearly false.’

The source says that if Maleficent and her team of winged monkey lawyers (I’m getting my pop culture witches crossed there, I know. Just go with it…) wanted to make Bong Hit Brad look bad, they would have already spilled the tea on the events of Flight 666.

The source then added that if Angelina really wanted to hurt Brad, she could have already done so months ago after the fight on the flight from France to the US.

‘If Angelina wanted to detail what happened on the plane, she could have. Nothing has been released and Angelina has kept silent.’

That source is right! If Angie Christ really wanted the public to know what a monster of a father Brad is, she could have just had God issue a supplement gospel to the Bible called “The Book of Brad Pitt Is A Shitty Father” just in time for midnight mass!

Pic: Splash

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