Open Post: Hosted By “Adult Wrapping”

December 22, 2016 / Posted by:

That terrifying picture looks either like a still from a horror movie about a human cannibal giant who loves eating people wontons, or like a still from a documentary about people whose fetish of choice is sucking themselves off while suffocating in a sex cocoon. But that’s not what’s going on in that picture. It may look like a claustrophobic’s come-to-life night terror, but it’s actually supposed to be an act of soothing therapy.

Japan continues to be the magical wonderland that is brought to you by the letters W-T-F. Kotaku says that recently Japanese TV reported on a new therapy technique called “otona maki” (aka “adult wrapping”). The way it works is that you’re wrapped in a breathable cloth for at least 15 minutes as a medical professional makes sure you don’t die. People who have been bundled like laundry in the name of therapy claim that it really relaxes them and makes them more flexible, which helps with their posture. We’re all uh-huh-ing to ourselves, but Goopy Paltrow is probably SOLD and soon Goop.com will begin selling $5,000 900-thread-count otona maki wrapping sheets.

The theory behind it is that being wrapped up like a present under Buffalo Bill’s Christmas tree will make you feel secure, because it will take you back to when you were in the womb. Okay, but if life in the womb is so wonderful (wombderful?), why the hell would any of us leave? Kotaku has a million pictures of this Audition-like shit, but here’s a video of it:

The truth is, this isn’t that weird. Haven’t many of us spent a giant chuck of 2016 curled up in the fetal position under the covers? Just stick a bottle of vodka in those adult wrappers and that’d be 2016 me.

PicSiouxsieQ5

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