Brad Pitt reportedly already tried to get a judge to seal all documents in his shit show of a custody battle against St. Angie Jolie, but that failed. The judge rejected that request (and probably because the judge received a special warning from GOD to not fuck with his official ambassador to Earth). Brad’s lawyers are trying again to get a judge to put a “None Of Your Damn Business” gold seal on official documents, but this time they’re asking the judge to seal the records only involving his children.
NBC News says that Brad’s lawyers state in the filing that he and Angie agreed to protect their kids’ privacy, but that she and her Dream Team (or “Nightmare Team” if you’re Brad) of legal custody fighters shit on that agreement. Brad’s lawyers say that thanks to Angie and her legal team, the public knows the names of their kids’ therapists, etc…
His lawyers cite the publication of “the names of [the children’s] therapists and other mental health professionals,” which, the motion argues, violated a previous agreement to protect the children’s privacy.
Jolie “appears to be determined to ignore even agreed upon standards relating to the children’s best interest,” Pitt’s lawyers wrote in the filing.
People adds that Brad really shanked at Angie for not only airing their dirty laundry, but also fanning the stank fumes wafting off of it to really make sure that everyone’s getting a whiff.
He asserts that Jolie has “no self-regulating mechanism” to prevent sensitive information from being released to the public. As evidence, he points to the re-release and filing of documents that contain private information. “Although she had already made them public, she did it again.”
Angie’s team gets a chance to respond before the judge throws down a decision.
Brad’s side tried to get the documents sealed the first time around after Angie’s side filed their temporary custody agreement with the court, making all the details public. Angie’s side claims that they had no choice but to file the temporary custody agreement after Brad’s side wanted to mess with the agreement by asking the court for more non-therapeutic visits with the kids.
How ice cold cunty of Brad to pull this move so close to the celebration of the birth of Jesus, the messiah who Angie is the reincarnation of!
If the judge actually goes against everything that is holy by siding with Brad Pitt, how, oh how, will the public find out about all the messy details of their custody fight?! If the judge does order the sealing of all child-related documents, then the paparazzi better blow a goodbye air kiss to their holidays, because duty will call! They’ll have to coincidentally appear in the parking lot of an office building that Angie is walking into while holding an official-looking document that reads, “Official Ruling From Therapist About Brad Pitt: Dude shouldn’t get custody of a pile of shake!”