Joss Whedon totally fucked up. Now Goopy Paltrow really won’t send him a holiday gift basket including a Baccarat crystal vessel filled with air from Jesus’ actual birth place, a gift certificate for a peppermint-scented vagina steaming session, a $120 tube of toothpaste and $600 night cream made from the sperm of a virgin snow white reindeer (it gets rid of the wrinkles that grow on your face from you having to clean and cook yourself on December 26th since you were gracious enough to send your servants home for Boxing Day). Big mistake, Joss!
As Pajiba points out, Goopy Paltrow was not in the second Avengers movie. And at a press conference to promote the first Avengers movie, Joss Whedon told reporters that Robert Downey Jr. had to convince him to put Goopy in it. Joss also pushed hard for Hillary Clinton during the elections, and after Donald Trump won, Goopy mouth farted about how it’s such an exciting time to be an American. That bring us to two days ago when Joss tweeted a picture of Goopy’s latest cookbook It’s All Easy (long title: It’s All Easy When You Have Millions Of Dollars, A Staff Of Twelve, Mario Batali’s Private Number And A Totally Organic Garden Tended To By A Family Of Fourth-Generation Amish Farmers Who Live Out Back). Joss doesn’t know where to start with this book.
S T A R T pic.twitter.com/pjQoxBfEOG
— Joss Whedon (@joss) December 19, 2016
Grown gazillionaires are just like us! They try to start fights on Twitter when they’re bored.
Because I’d love a last-minute entry into the Most Random Celebrity Feud Of The Year contest, I hope that Goopy responds by telling Joss that to think, she was going to send him a locally-sourced organic corn husk man wig to cover up his bald spot. I mean, a locally-sourced organic corn husk wig is what’s on her head in that picture, right?