Here’s Your First Super-Vague Look At “Blade Runner 2049”

When a 35-years-later sequel to Blade Runner was first announced almost two years ago, all we knew was that Harrison Ford would be in it and that it would be directed by French Canadian Denis Villeneuve. I was hoping a French Canadian director would mean this new Blade Runner would take place in a futuristic Montreal populated entirely by aggressively sexual android acrobats and robot jugglers, but that’s not the Blade Runner sequel we’re getting here.

The first teaser for Blade Runner 2046, was released today, and here’s what we’ve got: a little over a minute and a half of Ryan Gosling walking moodily through a dirty Los Angeles. About halfway through Ryan Gosling makes his way alone through desert where he comes upon a destroyed sculpture of a head. It’s not explained, so I’m just going to assume that was the moment Ryan’s character realized Burning Man was last weekend. He eventually meets Harrison Ford’s Rick Deckard. We also learn that Rick Deckard is living in an abandoned Korean hotel or something?

And that’s it! Blade Runner 2046 doesn’t come out until October 2017.

That teaser did nothing but make me want to take a shower, then replace the filter in my air purifier. Who cares about dusty-ass Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling? Just show us a clip from the part where Ryan works his smooth Canadian charm on a hot retro-inspired replicant named Rachael. I don’t know if that’s in the movie, but it better be. If Hollywood is going to recycle ideas like Blade Runner, the least they can do is give us the best part of it.