NBC has made the decision to give us the Hedy to Single White Female’s Allie by creating a knock-off of the movie that’s probably going to be cheap, messy and a dog killer (because your dog will contemplate suicide as you force the poor thing to watch the Single White Female TV show with you).
The Hollywood Reporter says that the latest totally original idea shat up by Hollywood is a reboot of the 1992 psycho thriller masterpiece Single White Female. Single White Female is already 100% perfect as it is. It’s a fast batshit 107 minutes with a beginning, middle and end, but NBC seems to think they can stretch that mess out into a full season. NBC has given SWF a script commitment and will pull the story out of NYC and drop it into San Francisco. If they’re going to move it to San Francisco, they should just make it a Fuller House spin-off, because you know DJ Tanner has always wanted to be Kimmy Gibbler! Who doesn’t? Here’s a few details via THR and these details may or may not make you want to commit murder to your eyeball with a stiletto.
The update is set in San Francisco (unlike the film’s New York setting) and a soapy psychological thriller in which the lines between good and evil are constantly blurred. Here’s the logline: When erstwhile con-artist Hedra (played in the movie by Jennifer Jason Leigh) uses her professional connections to target Allie (portrayed by Bridget Fonda), a seemingly moneyed colleague in search of a roommate, Hedra slowly begins to realize that her mark may not be quite as innocuous as she first seems. Soon, viewers will come to understand that Hedra may have met her match in Allie, making viewers question who is really being “single white female’d.”
Eric Garcia will pen the script and executive produce the NBC drama.
We don’t need this for 3 reasons:
- You can watch the original (and the only one we need) on Starz, because they play it like every second.
- No other thespian will ever come close to busting out the amazing performance that Steven Weber gave while instantly dying from a stiletto heel to the eye.
- We already have a reboot of Single White Female. It’s called Not-So-Single Plastic Fame Whore and it stars Kim Kartrashian and Kylie Jenner and airs during Krapping Up The Kartrashians.
Besides, if everyone wants more of Single White Female, they should just watch the underrated sequel, Single White Female 2: The Psycho.
Talk about wanting to gouge your eye out with a stiletto.
Pic: Columbia Pictures