Unless Janet Jackson gives birth before the year is over and names her baby Concepción Cristal Alexis, Mick Jagger and his young piece of a girlfriend Melanie Hamrick will take the Celebrity Baby Naming crown for 2016.
73-year-old Mick Jagger became a father for the eighth time last week when his 29-year-old ballerina girlfriend Melanie Hamrick gave birth to their baby boy. One might think that Melanie would keep it all-the-way real by naming her baby D.S. Jagger (Dollar Sign Jagger) and that Mick would go along with it since he’s not going to remember the name anyway. I mean, he’s got the names of a thousand other kids, grandkids and a great-grandkid to remember. I’m glad they didn’t do that, because the name they gave their child is so flawless that it makes me wish that in my next life I will come back as one of Mick Jagger’s spawn so I can say that I’m directly related to someone with a magnificent name. Mick Jagger and his unstoppable sperm fish are going to live to be 1,000, so my wish may come true.
The Mirror says that Mick’s daughter Elizabeth Jagger posted a picture on Instagram of her littlest brother along with his name. (She later deleted that post). Without further ado, Mick and Melanie reportedly named their baby:
Deveraux Octavian Basil!!!!!!
If you need that in picture form, here you go (and don’t be jealous of my amazing Photoshop silo skills):
And because why not, here’s a looser translation of that solid gold name in perfect form:
E! says that Basil was the name of Mick’s late father and Octavian means “born eighth” in Latin.
Mick and Melanie did it 100% right. When you choose a baby name, you need to ask yourself one very important question before making it official: Am I referencing either The Golden Girls or Dynasty in my kid’s name? If the answer is no, scrap that name and start again. Mick and Melanie referenced a Golden Girls character and a Dynasty character in one shot. At least 2016 gave us something good.
Thank you for being a friend (by keeping Blanche Devereaux’s memory alive), Mick and Melanie!
Pic: Shutterstock, NBC